


Neon Genesis Evengelion: Swan Song

by WIBN



Category: Neon Genesis Evangelion
Genre: AU, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Death, Depression, Drama, F/M, Friendship/Love, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, War, instrumentality
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-04-05
Updated: 2018-04-19
Packaged: 2019-04-18 19:30:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 21,433
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14220186
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WIBN/pseuds/WIBN
Summary: The 17th Angel is dead. All is set in place to start Instrumentality; however, Gendo notices the rebellious nature of Rei III and delays both NERV and SEELE. With both sides manipulating for their own benefits, the Eva pilots have more time. Their world, bodies, and minds are broken. Could Shinji, Asuka, and Rei heal before it is too late, or will they only hurt each other more?





	1. Scarred: 1

“Rei Ayanami,” thinks the bearer of the name, “why did you die?” She has no emotion in her thoughts. No, the girl has no emotion at all. Her face is impassive, her body lies motionless, and her head is a flood of questions rather than a swirling of emotion.

“I am not Rei,” she reasons. She takes her NERV ID card out of her pocket. A girl with two red eyes and a mop of blue hair stares blankly from the card’s picture. She walks to the mirror in her apartment’s bathroom, if it could even be called a bathroom at this point. She steps through a puddle of water and looks in the cracked mirror. Two red eyes and a mop of blue hair stare blankly back at her. It’s the exact same as the ID.

“I am a bearer of Rei Ayanami’s name,” Rei muses. “She is dead. I am alive, so I am not that other Rei. Am I still Rei?” She knows the answer. The girl that stares from the other side of the mirror is not a human but a vessel. When a glass of water breaks, take another glass and fill it up. “Yet, I am different. I have only a few hazy memories of hers.”

Rei glances at the bathroom. “What a mess,” she notes, but it does not bother her. The toilet no longer shines white. The sink has black mold growing from the drain and dark red dots cover the front edge. “Blood. Her blood.” The shower looks more like a coffin.

The girl exits the bathroom. She treads over the layers of bandages on the floor. She cannot help but smell the sweat and grime, but she welcomes the stench. The discomfort lets the First Child know that she is not dead. She lies down on her bed. The sheets are bunched in one corner, while the pillow is on the floor with the other Rei’s bandages.

The girl shivers. She is trapped in her apartment and ensnared by Gendo, but her body is free from the shackles of clothes. All others were born that way, nude, though they all wear clothes.

Rei was never born. She slid out of a tube. Like a new tire when one goes out, Gendo took another Rei when she died.

“Why did the other Rei die?” she wonders. Again, she knows the answer. The other Rei died to save Shinji, but why did she… choose to die? Rei knows that she has no self-preservation, but no order was given to detonate both the Evangelion and her. That much she recognizes. Rei does not act without orders from Gendo. If not Gendo, then she’d listen to the next in authority; however, the other Rei died to save Shinji.

“Did the other First Child die out of emotion?” hopes Rei. “If she had emotion, then I may as well.” She sits up. She met this Shinji before, and he clearly recognized her. No, not Rei. He saw the other Rei.  
Gendo told her to be safe, so Rei stayed in her apartment. Now, she wants an answer. “Did Rei have emotion?” Only one person can answer her question.

Rei stands and puts on her schoolgirl clothes like a machine. Other than her pilot suit, she wore only this loose fitting outfit. She opens the door to her small, dark apartment and walks through. Outside, the world is an endless summer. There used to be other seasons, but after the Second Impact summer is the only period left. “Peculiar,” thinks Rei, “Endless summer should have caused the people to rejoice. Now, it is a reminder of their peril. Summer is hot, so is Hell.”

Rei doesn't remember where Shinji lives, but she knows where he'll be. Asuka Langley, another pilot of the three Evangelions, is in the hospital. Consumed by her fire, anger and self hatred, she has been held there by NERV ever since her suicide attempt.

<><><><><><><><><>

Shinji Ikari convulses over a trashcan. His stomach is empty, so the boy only makes the sounds of a dying animal. He needs to empty out the trash in his body, but he can’t. He’s the trash.

He stands as his body shakes. The Third Child wipes his chin with his sleeve. He hates this place.

The whitewashed walls and artificial lighting shows the skin deep nature of this hellhole. The putrid smell of chemicals and disinfectant smothers his nose. Doctors and nurses rush through the maze of halls with emotionless faces. Only their tired eyes show that he is not among an army of medical robots.

Shinji rushes foreword. The boy no longer notices what is around his body. He only cares about what’s ahead. The sound of two light footsteps intensifies in tempo. He breathes heavier, but he has to see her. 

Asuka is the only one left. Only three others could understand his pain. Rei is dead and turned into a false image of who she used to be. He won’t forgive Misato, for NERV is to blame for this living nightmare. Kaworu is… was... He's dead.

Shinji stops, gasping for breath as he stares into the doorway. The room is rectangular with the same pasty walls, synthetic lighting, and disinfectant as he sees outside. The space should house dozens of beds, but there is only one at the back… alone. Asuka is lying on her side surrounded by machines. Her almost corpse-like pale skin contrasts with the strands of bright red hair falling around her head. Her arm is pierced by an IV tube.

The Third Child cries as he inches his way to his friend and enemy. Slowly, he sees her true condition. She's harsh and arrogant, but this girl is a fighter. Now, her mind is crippled, and her body crumbles. He stands over the teen looking at the back of her head. He’s unable to face the girl.

“Hey. Hey.” he whimpers. He shakes her shoulder making the redhead rock, but she does not stir. Her scowl is now peaceful like a baby fast asleep, yet Shinji knows better. Her mind suffers, but so does he. Her skin has lost its vibrant color, and her body is wrapped by a thin blanket. Why can’t she wake up?

“Asuka. Asuka. Asuka!” he calls out to her, but she does not respond. The steady beep of her heart monitor and his whimpering are the only sounds in the room. He stops shaking her and collapses onto her shoulder. He cries, and his tears fall down onto her pale face. “Please help me,” he sobs. “Help me.” They never got along, but she never ceased telling him to stop being a doormat. He needs those words.

“Help me. Help me!” His voice cracks. “Call me an idiot like you always do!” Still, she does not answer. Rage swells inside Shinji. Asuka refuses to wake, but he needs her. God damn it, wake up! He shakes her violently.

The sheet slides onto the ground. Buttons are ripped off. Shinji gasps, for her breasts are exposed, naked. Only her panties and opened shirt remain. The object of countless fantasies is before him. The girl lies on her back almost inviting him. Shinji lusts. A horrible thought enters his mind, an overpowering desire.

“Shinji Ikari?” asks an emotionless voice. Shinji steps back. The thought clears from his head, leaving self-revulsion in its place. Rei stands in the doorway. The blue haired doppelganger has the same pale skin as Asuka, the same emotionless face as the doctor’s, and the same body as his dear friend. Her very existence scares him.

“I killed Kaworu!” he screams. Asuka can’t hear and Rei can’t understand, so Shinji runs. It’s what he has always done. It is what he’ll always do. The coward flees and knocks over Rei as he scampers past her.

Rei stands. “Shinji does not wish to talk with me,” she mutters. What did the other Rei see in him? It had to be an emotion of some sort. Shinji is not somebody she would die for if she had the choice. Emotion is the only possible answer, for logic dictates self-preservation and following orders. Shinji is a broken animal.

Kaworu is a peculiar case. Brought in as Asuka’s replacement after she was broken, he had apparently befriended Shinji. He later tried to cause the Third Impact, but the disguised Angel changed his mind before he started apocalyptic Instrumentality. Instead, he asked Shinji to kill him, so he did. Why does Shinji feel disturbed after killing another Angel? He has killed so many already. Is it because none of the others looked human?

Rei walks to Asuka. The Second Child hated the other Rei for no sound reason. Oddly, the girl’s breasts are exposed. Asuka is not well, so Rei covers the girl with the fallen covers. A broken pilot is not a good pilot.

“It is not fair,” thinks the blue haired girl. “Shinji and Asuka deserve a better life. Me, I’m created for this. They were forced to become child soldiers, Evangelion pilots. I don’t care because I cannot. But Gendo does not care, even though he can.”

She walks out of the room but stops in the hall. She looks back at the shattered human and mutters, “Feel better.”

“Rei Ayanami,” says a doctor, “Gendo Ikari has demanded your presence.”

Gendo is a puppet master. No, the leader of NERV is more like its god. He pulls all of the strings for the organization to run, and everything is to his bidding. She is his puppet. The other Rei was until she chose Shinji’s life over following orders.

“No,” she says. The doctor’s tired eyes open wide. He doesn’t believe in miracles, but what he heard is impossible.  
“Didn’t you hear me? Gendo ordered you to come to him.”  
“I heard you.”

She walks down the hall back to her apartment. The doctor stands dumbfounded.

<><><><><><><><><>

Kozo Fuyutsuki is standing behind the most powerful man in the world, surrounded by twelve inhuman monoliths. Of course, Fuyutsuki knows there are humans behind the voices and holographic images, but humanity is as gone from them as it is gone from Gendo Ikari.

SEELE is an organization cloaked in more shadows than even NERV. They desire to complete the Human Instrumentality Project at all costs, and it is all but complete. Now, only Lilith is needed. Though they have three forms of Lilith, none can work.

Gendo is sitting in a chair behind a desk. That is all SEELE can see, but behind him, Fuyutsuki is watching. His commander says in his calculated tone, “You cannot use Lilith.” Most kidnappers seem to hide their victim’s in the basement. At NERV’s deepest and most restricted level, they have the original Lilith nailed to a red cross. She’s as large as an Eva Unit, but older than life itself. Hell, she made humans.

“We can take her by force,” booms one of the monoliths. “You have no functioning pilots and no hope to stand against us.”  
“There also is no Spear of Longinus. You cannot use the original Lilith.”  
“We wish to use Evangelion Unit 01.”  
“Her pilot is out of commission. We need time for him to heal in his mind. A berserk Unit 01 will give us nothing during Instrumentality.”  
“The other pilot can also use Unit 01.”  
“The other pilot… Rei… has become unpredictable. Something may be wrong with her newest incarnation, and all others have been unfortunately eliminated. Growing a new one is not an option.”

Fuyutsuki notes the crack in Gendo’s voice. The other’s won’t because they don’t know the man well enough, but he does. Gendo is worried.

“So, you wish for time to fix either pilot?”  
“Haven’t you waited decades? How much longer is a week, month, or even a year?”  
“Long enough for you to betray us.”  
“Then come and get me. All of Lilith, including Unit 01 and Rei, will be destroyed before you ever arrive.”

Gendo still has not raised his voice. Fuyutsuki waits for a monolith to respond, and his old face doesn’t move a muscle.

“Keep us updated.”

All of the monoliths disappear. The holographic discussion has ended. Fuyutsuki breaths a sigh, for he was holding his breath. Now, only he and Gendo stand in this massive room.

“Why did they back down?” asks the second in command at NERV.  
“I don’t know,” says Gendo as he stands. “But, I suspect SEELE is rushing because of me instead of their own desires. They now know I need time as much as they do.”  
“But, they could start Instrumentality if they wanted.”  
“I think it is clear that they want their own version. So do we.”  
“If only Rei didn’t show problems.”  
“Thanks to Ritsuko, this is our only Rei left. She disobeyed my orders. That cannot happen during Instrumentality.”  
“If she no longer follows your orders consistently, what will you do?”

Gendo does something that Fuyutsuki never thought he’d see again. The man normally never lets his emotions out for others to see, but now he smirks.

<><><><><><><><><>

“Pathetic,” Asuka Langley thinks, “I’m pathetic.” The drugs wore off. Her mind is now her own, though she wants the drugs back. The girl doesn’t want to know that she is a useless bitch who nobody loves. People only looked at her because she forced them. They pretended to like her because of her status as an Evangelion pilot. Now, she’ll never be one again. What does she have now?

Pain.

Pain is the only thing left. It’s pain from abandonment, pain from Ariel’s mind rape, and pain from her body. She drags her aching arm out of the covers. Already, a scar is forming over her wrist. “Too useless to kill myself.”

She tries to scream in rage, but it comes out like a baby’s moan. It infuriates her more. The steady beeping of the heart monitor quickens. All of her life has amounted to nothing. All of her training and all of her pain has amounted to nothing. 

This is her mother’s fault. She stopped caring about her. Just a little girl, Asuka watched her mother descend into madness after an incident working with an Eva Unit. She thought her daughter was a doll. Asuka hates dolls, but now she might as well be a lifeless piece of shit. Why didn’t her mother kill her daughter too? Why couldn’t her father have been the one to come home first instead of little Asuka? On the day Asuka found out she’d become an Eva pilot, why did her mother have to hang herself?

This is Shinji’s fault. He didn’t come and rescue her when that damn angel Ariel was raping her mind. All the images and fears that she’d repressed came forth. They can’t go back, but Shinji could’ve come out and helped her. His Eva Unit could’ve done something. No, she was instead abandoned until it was too late. Shinji could’ve disobeyed orders. He had before, but he didn’t. She wasn’t worth it.

This is NERV’s fault. They put her in her Eva Unit. They are the ones who use children inside giant combinations between monster and machine. They were the ones who sent her out, and they were the ones who kept Shinji back. They were the ones who caused her mother to go insane!

“No, this is my fault,” she thinks. “I locked my demons inside. They would escape. I push everyone away from me. I failed to defeat Ariel. I had to be rescued by that blue haired bitch, that doll. I hate her. I hate everyone! I hate me!”

“H-Hate,” she croaks. “I h-hate all.” If only somebody would come, but noone will. She has pushed away all. Now, Asuka is alone.

She whispers, “Mama.”

<><><><><><><><><>

One week later...

Rei Ayanami is sitting on a bench. She is reading a book; an uninteresting one, but it is required for her mental development. The girl goes to school even though there is no point. Shinji hasn’t come. Asuka is still broken.

She knows the others are staring at her like some zoo animal behind glass, but there is no glass. She could kill all of them. Like Kaworu, she inherited an A.T. Field from an angel, though hers and Unit 01’s are from Lilith. In fact, her soul is Lilith’s. All other Evangelion receive their A.T. fields from the first angel Adam, for they were grown from him. Unit 01 was grown from Lilith, but Rei doesn’t know why Ritsuko told her these things. The field is almost indestructible and even used for attack if wielded properly, thus she could kill all of the children.

But she won’t. They look at her and see Rei Ayanami, and no one outside of NERV knows that she is a new Rei. The other girl is dead. The schoolboys and schoolgirls see only a weird girl. She is, in fact, the same race that caused billions of deaths. Isn’t that right? No, not entirely. She also has part of a human in her somehow, though she doesn’t know the name of the person. “I suppose that makes me neither human nor angel,” Rei thinks.

“Maybe they do see me as a monster,” she wonders. Tokyo-3 was flooded because of the other Rei’s sacrifice. The glares that she receives may be hatred, but Rei cannot tell.

“R-Rei?” asks a boy. Like all the other students in her class, he is fourteen. “Is Shinji okay?”  
Rei doesn’t bother looking up. Her eyes remain fixed on the pages. She says impassively, “He is alive.”  
“Where is he though? He is my friend, but I can’t get to him. Is he away on a mission?”

Rei looks up. The boy in front of her is Kensuke Aida, a friend of Shinji. From the other Rei’s memories, she thinks that this boy might not be fourteen. He has a camcorder in his hand like always.

“He is alive.”  
He shakes his head. “Ug,” he moans. “You just don’t understand.”

Rei looks back at her book. “No,” she muses, “He doesn’t understand.” Shinji and Asuka have suffered more than most adults can take. Their horrible results are the logical result. Shinji has been hiding somewhere for the past week, most likely his room. Asuka is in the hospital. They need to be fixed.

Has anyone tried to fix Asuka or Shinji’s mind? Their heads are shattered.

Rei sets down the book and walks away. Shinji and Asuka knew the other Rei better than anyone else except the puppet master Gendo and Ritsuka, the woman who killed all of the other Rei vessels.

The blue haired girl boards a train to GeoFont. Time passes. The other students are waiting for their classes to end when Rei reaches GeoFont, the underground head quarters of NERV. Using her I.D, it takes little trouble to reach Asuka. “Why Asuka?” she wonders. The redhead hates her, or at least the other Rei, more than anyone else alive. “I do not know where Shinji hides. I know where Asuka is.”

Rei steps through the halls. The chemicals are a welcome smell, for the other Rei lived her entire life within the sanitized world. It is familiar.

“Don’t go in there,” grumbles a female doctor. Her left eye is swollen. “Major Misato forbade us from restraining her unless she was to harm herself. Instead, she harmed us and will do the same to you if you enter.”

Rei’s previous incarnation would have left, but this Rei is different. Animals make two responses when in pain. One type tries to hide like Shinji. The other becomes violent, but the suffering persists either way.

Rei walks past the doctor and into the room. The Second Child is lying on the hospital bed breathing great gasps of air. Her face is twisted. Rei does not understand emotion, but she understands the face shows pain. Her eyes are closed. Other than the girl, the room has not changed from Rei’s last visit.

Like a mouse, Rei tiptoes to the side of Asuka, to the same side where Shinji stood. Asuka’s eyes aren’t just closed. They are squeezed as tightly together as one could manage.

“Asuka Langley,” she says. Her voice has the volume of a whisper and the emotion of a computer.

Asuka glares at Rei. “If I had the strength, I would strangle you. Leave,” she demands, yet it does not sound powerful. Her voice is more like a child wanting to be left alone after skinning her knee.  
“Has your mental state improved?”

Asuka tries to punch Rei, but it only becomes a tap on the arm. Asuka rolls on her side to face away from Rei. She mutters, “I’m too weak to hurt Gendo’s doll.”  
“I am not a doll,” Rei murmurs.   
“Really?” Her tone makes it clear that she doesn’t believe it. “Who sent you?”  
“I did.”

Asuka doesn’t say a word. She did not die, for the monitor beeps and her breathing moves the covers slightly.

Rei notes, “You do not want my presence. I will leave. As I said before, feel better.” Rei walks away. The visit did not improve Asuka’s mental state, though it did show that she made some progress from last week.  
“You were here before?”  
Rei does not turn around but answers, “Yes, so was Shinji.” Then, she leaves the redhead to herself.

Asuka stares blankly at the roof.

<><><><><><><><><>

Shinji Ikari does nothing. His body is breathing and his heart is beating, but he doesn’t want either to happen. His body forces those things on him like his father forced eva Unit 01 on him.

He is lying in bed and wearing his headphones, but the SDAT player’s on the twenty fifth track. Nothing plays.

The Third Child stares at the ceiling though his eyes see something else. Memories won’t let him rest. Kaworu was grasped between Unit 01’s fingers and asked Shinji to kill him. Then, he squeezed. He saw Toji being taken from the mangled remains of Unit 03, knowing that he was at fault for mangling his friend. Rei exploded with her Unit to save him only to become a shadow, a zombie. Asuka is suicidal needing help and support, yet Shinji just shook her. He wanted to help himself. Then, when he saw her breasts…

The girl always flaunted her assets. Even in Misato’s apartment she would provoke him. The time they kissed, Shinji didn’t know what to do. He has since learnt she doesn’t wear a bra at home, but now she no longer resides in her room. She is a corpse like Rei. The girls they used to be are dead, replaced by these strange and sad people.

“Why am I alive?” Shinji wonders. Far too much has happened for him to even hope to be alive, yet here he is. Everything is his fault. He forced Rei to kill herself. He didn’t run out and save Asuka. He demolished Toji. He killed Kaworu.

Shinji does nothing.

“Shinji?” says a voice. It is soft, feminine. Misato was the one who took in Kenji and later Asuka, so he thought she loved him. He really did. Now, he sees her for what she truly is. Major Misato is just another minion of his father. She is the one who directs all of their fights against the angels.

Shinji does not reply to the woman.

“Shinji.” She steps into his room. “You can’t lie here forever. Go to school. Talk to a friend. Asuka can take visitors now.”

Each word jabs his heart. Even when the arm of his Eva Unit was torn off, he felt less pain. The boy felt it as if it was his body, but physical pain is easier than mental and emotional. He will lie forever. He won’t go to school. He has no friends left… “Asuka,” he thinks, “You were always lively and animated. If you were here, you’d yell at me to get up, to stop being a doormat. Now, I made you a doormat. You would’ve been better off if you never knew me.”

Shinji says nothing.

“Shinji, everything is better now,” says the major, “The final angel has been… defeated.” No, he killed Kaworu. “You’ll never have to pilot Unit 01 again. Your final mission is to heal. The same is with Asuka and Rei.”

No, Rei is dead. The new blue haired girl isn’t even human. All of them were clones. Rei has no need of healing, for she has never done anything. Hell, the new girl never piloted an Eva Unit.

Shinji does not move.

“I’ll always be here for you,” says Misato, “but I have to go. There is so much I need to do at NERV. I’ll see you tomorrow morning.”

Then, Misato leaves, for she is unable to get any closer to Shinji. This is what he wanted. For far too long, he has desired to have a home, a friend, a father, a mother. Now, he knows all those things are like roses. They look beautiful, but the thorns pierce his skin making him bleed.

Home is an illusion. This is not his home. It has four walls, but the house only accepted him because of his status as an Eva pilot and now out of pity. Friends are just people waiting to be hurt. Asuka, Rei, Kaworu, and Toji were all injured or killed. It is only a matter of time before he’d kill Kensuke. His father Gendo doesn’t care for Shenji at all. The boy used to do anything for a response from the man. Now, Gendo has no reason to even think of Shinji, for NERV completed its mission. His mother is dead, and Misato is definitely not his mother.

Asuka… he was going to do the unthinkable when he saw her breasts exposed to him. Were Angels ever the monsters? Was he always the monster?

Shinji does nothing.

<><><><><><><><><>

Misato Katsuragi sighs. She shouldn’t. The mountain of paperwork is a tedious monster, but no one will die. Asuka and Shinji will not be harmed by the white paper covered in black ink, yet it’s so damn boring.

Through the mind numbing experience, she cannot help but think of her… children. Yes, they are her children. Neither accepts her as their mother, and she doesn't act like one; however, she's their mother now. When everything is over, Misato will devote the rest of her life to a single goal. Those kids need to be happy.

It pains her to see Shinji and Asuka in their shattered states. Asuka is the energetic one who never gives up, yet she almost succeeded in killing herself. Shinji is thoughtful and always willing to help others, but he can’t even get out of bed. Something must be done, but the major doesn’t know what to do. It’s driving her crazy. Neither child will allow her to come near, yet both desperately need the embrace of one who loves them. Misato loves them both. In her heart, she knows Shinji and even Asuka must feel something towards her.

Misato stretches her legs. She has been sitting at her desk too long. Her office is small with the only notable features being piles of papers, the desk, and the woman. If it wasn’t for her uniform, one might mistake her for a simple secretary.

The major sits and reads through the next paper.

“Misato Katsuragi?” asks a cold voice. Misato drops the paper. Rei stands in front of her. “Did I startle you?” she asks.

Still sitting at her desk, Misato states, “Um, yes. I didn’t see you come in. What can I do for you?” There has to be a reason. Rei keeps to herself more than anyone else Misato ever knew. “Her eyes are the same color as Kaworu’s,” she thinks.

“Where is Shinji Ikari?” the girl asks. Her voice has no emotion. Misato does not know why, but she suspects Gendo has something to do with that.

“Shinji is at home,” Misato says. She keeps her composure. “He is not well.” He is not well at all. Shinji is in a horrible state. A creeping voice in the back of her mind reminds her that Asuka attempted suicide. Shinji might as well.

“May I see him?” At first, the woman thinks the blue haired girl is joking, but Rei can’t joke. Misato stares at the First Child. Neither moves or blinks. Then, she nods. Shinji was close to the other Rei. Maybe this one could cheer him up. It won’t hurt. “Thank you, major,” replies Rei. “Where does he live?”

Misato tells Rei the address. The girl walks out the door.

“Is she even a girl?” Misato wonders. She saw the bodies floating in tubes. When a new Rei was needed, they simply brought one out and dropped Rei’s old soul inside. This Rei was a jar of spare parts in the basement. “Could that even be human?”

She shakes her head. How could she even entertain those thoughts? Rei was human, and Rei is human. She cannot allow herself to see the girl, that young girl, as a mere tool like Gendo and Ritsuko. She is better than that.

“How good am I?” the officer muses. “I allow children to fight. They are soldiers while the men and women stand back and direct them. Oh, only if others could pilot, yet fourteen is the youngest possible age. The Second Impact occurred fourteen years ago. I can’t forget being the only survivor knowing my father died to save me.” She clutches the cross necklace he gave her. “I will die for them.”

The children have been forced to fight a friend, kill another, experience their arms ripping off, feel an eye be punctured, and know that every day could be their painful demise.

Misato stands. NERV is planning something else. Kaji knew that much before he died, but this organization has one last surprise. She has to find NERV’s final secret. Her children will never be safe while the organization and Gendo live.

<><><><><><><><><>

“Alone,” Asuka Langley reflects. “I am alone.” The staff avoids her at all cost, for she scratches, punches, pinches, or spits on them. They rush to her, make the necessary adjustments, and leave. They fear her anger.

That’s all she is, a bag of emotions wrapped into a pretty package called flesh. She hates the doctors for keeping her alive, she hates everyone else for abandoning her, and she hates herself for being Asuka Langley. That is why she won’t kill herself. Dying would be a gift. Asuka needs to suffer.

She sighs. Her life has been on a downward spiral for years. Why did it take Ariel’s mind rape to let her know? Her mother committed suicide, so Kaji became her guardian. “Oh Kaji,” the girl fantasizes, “Why couldn’t you have stayed with me? You were the perfect man.” Now, Kaji is dead. Asuka is not stupid. She knows the man is dead and not missing. He loved Misato anyway.

“I was convinced that I could pilot the Evas,” the girl muses, “I received status and adoration, yet I couldn’t keep it up. It doesn’t matter that I have a college education already at fourteen. It doesn’t matter that I killed other Angels before. I am too weak. Rei never cracked, and Shinji completed the mission. I was so close, but I fell apart with one angel to go. Why can’t I push away this pain?”

Asuka wants to cry, but she closes her eyes tight. She will never cry. She made that promise at her mother’s funeral, and she’ll do everything to keep that promise. Asuka Langley is broke and hopeless, but she will not lower herself to the state of crying.

“Hey, the staff said you’re getting better,” says Misato. She stands in the doorway. “You look better.”

The normal Asuka would mock the major and call her fat, knowing it’s a lie. Misato is a woman, fully developed. Asuka may look old for her age, but she does not have the assets of her newest guardian.

Instead, Asuka says nothing. She notices the disappointment in the woman’s eyes.

“Can I come in?” she asks. Unlike the hatred she feels towards Rei, that dumb doll, Asuka feels fear. This woman is closer to her than any other female. She is also the one who could let her back into her Unit. She needs one more time. The Great Asuka Langley needs to show herself and the world that she is not broke.

“I’ll take your silence as a yes.” The woman comes over and stands next to the girl. Her uniform looks rumpled as if she hasn’t changed for days. Asuka finally wears a hospital gown, so she treasures the layer.

“Do you want anything?” Death would be nice. No, Asuka wants death only if she remains a failure. “The staff told me you can come home when they think you’ll take care of yourself. No more suicide.”  
“No shit,” mutters Asuka.  
The woman ignores the comment, “And do not let your body go to waste.”

They stare at one another until Asuka rolls on her side. Facing away, she says, “I want to pilot Unit 02.”  
“Asuka, we won. You don’t need to pilot anymore. You won.”  
“No, not until I can pilot 02 again.”

Asuka knows this is a wish that cannot be granted. NERV will shut down. Eva Unit 02 will be scrapped, prodded by other scientists, or placed in a museum for others to gawk at. Unit 02 is a part of Asuka. It’s gone.

“I’ll see what I can do,” replies Misato. For the first time since slitting her wrists, Asuka sits up. Her body hurts from the movement, but in this moment of surprise, it doesn’t matter.   
“Really?” she asks. Her voice does not express her feelings.   
“Yes, NERV brought out Ritsuko from confinement, and we’re rebuilding 02 and 00. They’re keeping 01 running. I don’t know why, but we have those orders.”  
“So I can pilot again?”  
“I’ll try.” Misato’s voice becomes a whisper. “I don’t know what NERV is doing. It scares me. Asuka, I still cannot promise you’ll be safe.”  
“I don’t want protection. I want Unit 02.”

Asuka lays down again. Misato nods. She leans over and kisses the girl on her forehead. The redhead manages to let out a grumble, but she doesn’t strike her guardian. Then, Misato walks out the door.

“Misato,” Asuka calls out doing all she can to keep her voice from cracking.  
“Yes?” Misato stands in the doorway.  
“Get me out of here.”  
Misato nods. “I’ll get you home.”

The woman leaves.

Asuka closes her eyes. She has given her life purpose again. A fish has to swim. A bird has to fly. Asuka has to pilot. It is her purpose in life, and she cannot allow herself to fail. The Second Child must have a swan song to her career.

“Stupid Rei,” thinks Asuka, “Dumb Wondergirl blew herself up before reaping the rewards. Shinji killed the final angel. Why isn’t he happily in here for me to berate?”

“Ug, I don’t need Shinji. He left me here. Who cares if he was in here once? I was a drugged up vegetable. He must be off celebrating. No, knowing Shinji, he isn’t acting any differently. He can’t be bothered to see me.”

Asuka refuses to admit it; she refuses to think it. Not seeing Shinji bothers her.

<><><><><><><><><>

Rei Ayanami walks through NERV. She will visit Shinji, for he is broken. Perhaps, she can fix a part of the problem. The First Child doesn’t remember if the other Rei entered Shinji’s apartment before, but this Rei is not that Rei.

Her clothes are too big. “Why did she not buy the right size?” the girl wonders. “Did she not want her form seen by others? To be fair, this body is attractive, but she shouldn’t have cared about that. I don’t. Maybe she never bothered to buy a better size. Yes, that’s the answer.”

The blue haired girl marches past NERV employees. They seem to all be busy as if more angels are coming. No one notices her.

“Rei Ayanami,” Ritsuko says.

Rei stops moving. The chief scientist is among the smartest people alive, but Rei holds no respect for the woman. She killed all of the other Rei bodies and not out of compassion. She destroyed them out of… jealousy. She coveted Gendo’s relationship with her. Ritsuko knows the special attention the leader of NERV shows this dainty girl. “Have his attention,” thinks Rei. 

“We’re going to run some tests on you. I’d say a week or less from now.” The woman scribbles away on a clipboard.

“Why?” Ritsuko rarely shows emotion, but Rei can see the surprise in her face. The blonde drops her pencil, and she scrunches her eyebrows while her eyes unintentionally widen.

“We will test your compatibility with Unit 01 again.”

Rei nods. She continues on to Shinji leaving the blonde to her own machinations. Unit 01 is Shinji’s eva. With her Eva being repaired, they must’ve decided to do something risky. Why would they want a pilot so quickly? What are they preparing for?

The girl shakes her head. Her questions cannot be answered, but she will know in time. Rei has to focus on what can be done. Shinji needs to be fixed, and she wishes to know more about him. If the other Rei developed emotions towards him, then she could.

By train then by foot, she reaches the apartment complex at nightfall. She has to walk upstairs to reach Shinji’s apartment, though she finds that fitting. Shinji is above her, he is human, and he killed the most angels. It also shows his isolation. He’s at a different level than most people, so no one can reach him. They catch glimpses of the boy, but Shinji doesn’t feel the embrace of others. Only Asuka would know, for Rei is not human. She cannot feel.

The First Child knocks on the door, but the door creaks open. She pushes it, steps through and closes it behind her. “Shinji?” she asks, though she does not project. The girl hears no reply.

Rei walks through the kitchen. Empty beer cans are strewn about the table. “I was not aware that the major drank so frequently,” she thinks. She enters the living room where a penguin sleeps on the sofa though his name eludes her. There are three other ways out of the room. One is down a hall, the other to a bedroom, and a final to a porch. Despite the beer cans, the apartment is in much better shape than her dwelling. It almost appears to be a normal apartment.

Rei creeps down the hall. She hears the slightest of sounds, music. The melody emanates behind another door, so she slides it open. Shinji is lying in a bed with his headphones on and eyes closed. The melody ends, and the SDAT player doesn’t give any more music.

“You are broken,” states Rei. The boy looks pale like Asuka. Rings lie under his eyes from a lack of sleep. His hair is unkempt.

“Go away,” he says.   
“Why?” She steps closer.   
“Leave me alone.”   
“You look like Asuka.”

Shinji sits up and opens his eyes. He pulls off his headphones and says to Rei, “When have you seen her last? How is she?”  
“I saw her today. She tried to punch me and called me Gendo’s doll.”  
“Don’t say that name. Leave, please.”

Shinji lies down again. His face shows pain, though he is not wounded. The boy looks beaten. How could this be the one who saved the day countless times?

“Misery enjoys company. You should see Asuka.”  
“Leave.”

A… a reaction stirs up inside Rei. Her chest sinks within itself. It is not pleasant, but it gives her the motivation to say her thoughts.

She whispers, “I am not a doll, Shinji Ikari. Your father may treat me like one, Asuka may call me one, you may discard me like one; however, I am alive.”

Shinji says nothing.

“Don’t you feel? I… I was the one you knew. Didn’t you care about her?”  
“Yes, but she’s dead.”  
“I feel some of what she felt.” Rei looks at the ground. “I know she loved you. You were her brother, and she died for you out of emotion, love. I don’t understand, but I desire those feelings. I am not the one you knew, but I am like her. Look at me. What do you see?”  
The boy looks at her for a moment before turning his head away in pain. “I see Rei, a reminder of how I failed her. Leave, please.”

Rei recognizes no point in staying. She walks out the door, but before she closes it she states, “Rei would say you are still failing, especially Asuka.”

Shinji is left alone. He cries.

<><><><><><><><><>

It has been three days, and Shinji Ikari has finally done something. He can’t face Asuka, for he will never forgive himself for those thoughts… She needed love, but he gave none. No, the Third Child is at school again. Misato forced him, and Shinji had to do something. Yet, school is not the same.

As he is sitting in his seat, he can’t help but notice Toji’s is empty. Kensuke’s words still ring in his ears. “Toji was transferred to another hospital with his sister. He has only one leg.” Yes, the athletic Toji has been robbed of his body by none other than Shinji. Why did Toji’s eva have to be possessed by an angel?

Hikari won’t look the Third Child in his eyes. She glances at him, but her masked rage shines through. The class president never showed such animosity. “You finally see me for what I am,” he thinks.

Rei is staring out of the window instead of listening to the professor's lecture, but Shinji wishes she wasn’t here. She is a gravestone of Rei never letting him forget the moment of her death. No one else wants her here either, though they are unjustified. Shinji’s Rei killed the angel, but the result was Tokyo-3 flooding. The ocean took back mankind’s greatest efforts, and the civilian casualties were massive. They all think this is the same Rei who caused their friends and families’ death.

Asuka’s empty chair forces the image of her exposure to the boy. Behind all of her anger and her attitude is a girl. “Asuka,” he wonders, “Are you hurt like me?” Yes, she is. If Shinji was brave like her, then he’d try to kill himself too.

The bell rings. The class leaves for lunch, and Shinji tries to hide in the crowd. His head hangs low; his shoulders slouch. He eats lunch away from everyone else wallowing in his own misery and self-hatred. The boy’s body may be at the school sitting at a bench, but his mind is still closed off.

Over the babble of schoolboys and schoolgirls, Shinji hears a grunt, Rei’s voice. He looks up.

Not twenty meters ahead of Shinji Rei is lying on the ground. Blood oozes from her head. She grabs her book and stands. Three boys circle her. One holds a wood club. Another one kicks her, but Rei doesn’t fall this time.

“Hey!” shouts Shinji. He runs to them. The gazes of other students move to the brawl. All three boys are tall like Toji, and Shinji is weak from his miserable state; however, Shinji slams his body into the boy holding the club.

He misses and falls to the pavement. He feels the blood dripping from his scraped arms. The predators laugh.

“Not so tough without your monsters,” sneers one. He pushes Rei down. Her face refuses to move from its blank stare. Shinji stands. His body tells him to run, but this is a fight. He only runs before fights.

He sees only white. It takes a moment to realize that he’s been clubbed in the back of his head. Shinji drops to his hands and knees.

Shinji hears cheering. Other voices shout. The boy rises as his legs wobble. The three boys are held back by other students and a professor, but Shinji cannot tell if the crowd cheers at the restraint or at his blood.

“Aoi is dead!” shouts the boy who kicked Rei. Somebody takes Rei. The Third Child feels somebody steady him.

“Let’s get you to the nurse,” says Kensuke. They walk together meters behind Rei and Hikari. Shinji’s mind drifts.

He opens his eyes. He’s in a car, Misato’s car. She’s driving, so every bump or swerve she makes causes spikes of pain to be driven into the back of his head.

“Shinji Ikari is awake,” says Rei. Shinji realizes that his head is lying on her legs. Fearful, he tries to move himself away, but her grip is firm. “Stay there,” she says. He does. Her hands are warm.

“I’m taking you both to NERV, Shinji,” Misato says, “You’re fine, but the nurse was a dick.”  
“Misato, I-I’m sorry.”  
“Don’t be.”

The car’s engine roars, but Shinji can still hear the girl breathing. She asks, “Why did you help?”

Why did he help? Did he think this was Rei? He wants nothing to do with this thing, but he fought to protect her and now his head is lying in her lap. Shinji does not respond, for he has no answer.

“I could’ve protected myself,” she continues, “if I desired, but their emotions were justified. They thought I was the Rei who flooded Japan and killed their families. The nurse told me two were released from the hospital today. I hoped that my suffering would ease their pain.”  
“They could’ve killed you,” Shinji says. He looks up at her. Her head is wrapped with a bandage.  
“I am tougher than I appear, but your words are kind. Why can you not be caring towards me otherwise?”

Shinji looks away. He hurt… her. No, this is Rei. He hurt Rei. By trying to protect himself, wrapping himself up in a cocoon, he hurt this… girl who cares for him.

“I am sorry, Rei,” says Shinji. “I didn’t mean to hurt you. I want to be friends.”  
“I have no friends.”  
“No, you have me.”

“While this is great,” says Misato, “Save your strength, both of you. You are friends now, but you’re both hurt.”

Shinji closes his eyes. He reaches out his hand and touches Rei’s arm. She gasps. Then she takes hold of his hand.

<><><><><><><><><>

The Evangelions almost seem to appear out of thin air. One moment, the general populace knows about two, then in the next there are three. For such giants, the units are almost like ghosts from another world.

Evangelions aren’t the only giant robots. The Eva is by definition a flawed creature, for it is organic and relies on a pilot; one who’s a child no less. The Jet Alone program was the herald to a new era, but their prototype was sabotaged. That much the company figured out, and they suspected it was NERV. Moreover, NERV came to the rescue with an Eva Unit and stopped the Jet Alone prototype for going into nuclear meltdown. The N2 engine was the safe option at this point.

Now, the Jet Alone project was defunded. Who could trust a robot that acts crazier than the organic death machines with their insane child-pilots? Though, two visionaries funded the project in secret. Russia and China could look to the future. There will be a day where the Angels are defeated leaving NERV with the Evas. Like the Atom Bomb or the Abrams tank of time long ago, these were weapons that are unmatched on the battlefield. What could possibly stand against the Eva?

Jet Alone.

Now, the first model of the series, Jet Alone Prime, hides underground waiting to be used. Neither of the two countries desired for the robot to be given to just one, so they agreed to wait until the second was created. What could go wrong? The project is beyond classified.

“SEELE knows,” Kiel Lorenz thinks. “Gendo is stalling or incompetent, but it doesn’t matter. We are ready.”

The true head of SEELE knows this is a wonderfully strategic move. Infect Jet Alone Prime with a virus, for it was done once before. Then, send it at Tokyo-3. NERV has to deploy Unit 01, their only functioning unit. Then, SEELE would find if the unit is up to its task. Kiel's body decays steadily. Already, he has more machinery than old, decrepit flesh.

If the Evangelion Unit 01 wins, then SEELE should have its moment to strike. If Jet Alone Prime wins, then NERV will be mocked and shut down. SEELE will take the pieces, including the remnants of Unit 01, and cause the Third Impact. The Human Instrumentality Project is near completion either way.

<><><><><><><><><>

Asuka Langley is standing. Her legs wobble, for her body has deteriorated from being in the hospital so long. The girl does not care. A doctor mentioned Misato entered the hospital which can mean only one thing. She is taking her... home. Everyone be damned if they try to stop the spitfire.

The redhead must act as though she is fine. Only then she could have her chance. The Second Child knows her self revulsion for failing. She hasn't healed, but piloting Unit 02 will heal her. It has to, for nothing else could improve her worth.

“Can you walk?” Misato asks, marching into the room. The woman looks drained. Her eyes are sullen, and her uniform could’ve been through a warzone.  
“Yes,” Asuka answers.  
“Then put this on.” The woman takes off her military jacket, revealing a t-shirt underneath. She tosses the jacket onto the bed.   
“This is all you have to give me!” Asuka exclaims. “I matter so little that you make me dress like a girl who had a one night stand with a soldier?”  
“I meant to get your clothes, but I had to take Shinji to the hospital.”

The rage in Asuka ends. Her stomach sinks. Did he try to kill himself as well? Is he dead? No, she shouldn’t worry about that idiot.

Misato continues, “Some kid bashed the back of Shinji’s head with a club. It’s just a small concussion. Promise me not to be loud around him, and you can go home.”  
“Fine.” She crosses her arms and huffs to make the point.  
The major smiles. “That’s my girl. Let’s go.”

Asuka rips off the hospital gown. She already wears her undergarments, but she hasn’t seen the rest of her clothes after arriving. The coat will do, so she buttons it up. It barely covers her rear.

She hobbles after Misato. She feels the cramps in her legs, but this does not stop the Great Asuka Langley. She has done everything she could in the last three days to regain her strength. Her efforts come to fruition now.

They wind through a few halls until Misato opens another door.

Shinji looks up at them. A bandage is wrapped around the back of his head and his elbows. Wondergirl sits next to Shinji.

“What are you doing here?” asks Asuka. She glares at the doll.   
“I was injured,” Rei replies, “I will go home now. Shinji missed you.”

She bows in front of Misato and Asuka, then she walks away. “If Shinji missed me, then he’d see me,” thinks Asuka. “Instead, I come to him.”

“I-I’m sorry, Asuka,” whimpers the boy. “I couldn’t protect you.” He buries his face in his hands. As always, the child snivels around her. Almost nothing else irks her more. The more assertive Shinji is tolerable, but this person is the very thing she hates the most. If it wasn’t for the promise, Asuka would yell at him.

“What were you doing with Wondergirl?”  
“Talking.”  
“Ha, you two were playing doctor I’d say.”  
Shinji becomes embarrassed. “No, she was being beaten. I couldn’t let someone else be hurt.”  
“But you let me.”  
“I…”  
“That’s enough from both of you,” orders Misato. “We are going home. No arguing or I’ll leave both of you overnight.”

The children are silent, and they remain that way on the ride home. Asuka expects the boy to steel glances at her legs, or her panties if he is lucky, but Shinji does not do so. He falls asleep, so Asuka sleeps as well.

When they arrive home, Misato leaves. She tells them, “I’m getting takeout.” It is a relief. Without Shinji’s cooking, this is the only way to eat anything not poisonous.

Pen Pen greets her before wandering off to his icebox. The penguin at least seems to like her presence. Shinji, on the other hand, sits awkwardly on the couch. He sat there when Asuka changed into her own clothes. He sat there when she used the bathroom. He sits there now.

“You’re different,” states Shinji. The boy looks more asleep than awake.  
“How?” She frowns.   
“You don’t yell at me.”   
“I promised Misato I wouldn't, because of your head.”  
“Oh.” 

Asuka sits on the opposite end of the couch. She’s tired, far too tired. Sleep calls out to her.

“Misato told me you wanted to pilot again. You’re braver than me. I never could.”  
“I’m better than…” No, Asuka can’t say it. Shinji killed more Angels. Shinji didn’t collapse to the same despair as she. “You would.”  
“What?” Shinji yawns.   
“If Wondergirl needed saving, you’d pilot.”  
“But, we won’t ever have to do that. But if we did, then I’d die saving you as well.”  
“You didn’t before. Ariel destroyed my mind while you did nothing."  
“I won’t again. I saw you in the hospital. You were broken. I think you still are.”

The words drive into Asuka. How dare he see her in such weakness! But, this is Shinji. He doesn’t say these things, for he whimpers. Why did he say that? 

“Are you on painkillers?”  
“Yes.”  
“That explains your words.”

Asuka yawns and closes her eyes. Shinji does the same.

The girl asks in a peaceful state, “I’ll hit you and yell at you when I feel better.”  
“Please do.”

Misato returns with the food, but her two children are asleep on the couch. The woman smiles, for their sleep is peaceful. She covers each of them with a blanket and kisses both of their foreheads. She spends the rest of the night drinking beer.


	2. Scarred Ni

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Asuka, Rei, and Shinji try to recover; however, an enemy is being prepared to attack.

<><><><><><><><><>

Rei Ayanami dreams.

She stands in a control center. The NERV staff rushes around her, but no one notices the First Child. Most of the men and women have no face, just a sheet of skin; however, three are different. Major Misato, Ritsuko Akagi, and Maya Ibuki have faces. They direct the faceless.

"What are you doing?" asks Rei, but they don't hear the girl. She sits next to Maya, for the young woman is nice to all the pilots. Perhaps she is pleasant because she hasn't let age harden her soul. Maya's… purity and disdain for violence is refreshing from the rest of the NERV staff.

Ritsuko orders, "Let's begin." The adults' attention is directed outside on the other side of the glass. Rei cannot see over the computers, so she tucks her legs under her body. From her increased height, Rei sees Asuka lying on the other side of the glass and submerged in a container. It's a synchronization test.

"Sync levels at twelve percent," says a faceless one. Ritsuko shows annoyance, but Maya continues to monitor the vital signs. From the stats on Maya's monitors, Rei notices that Asuka's heartbeat increased. She looks up and sees Asuka grimacing in pain.

"Stop this," says the blue haired girl, but her voice doesn't register with the adults. The vital signs on Maya's monitors continue to spike. The heart races at a dangerous level. Asuka's brain pattern spikes in all directions. The redhead is in danger.

"Asuka is fine," says Maya. No, she is not fine. They must stop.

Asuka opens her mouth trying to scream, but Rei can't hear her. The glass is soundproof. Ritsuko scribbles in her notebook oblivious to the suffering she causes, and the vital signs plummet.

"Stop, please," begs Rei. Nobody hears her. Asuka goes limp; her heartbeat stops. The redhead is dead, yet the others don't care.  
"Clear out the body. Bring in Shinji," orders Ritsuko.  
Rei stands in her chair. "No!" she cries.

Her eyes open, greeted by the roof of her apartment. Rei breathes out slowly. She lies above the bed sheets, for the night is warm and still. "It was a dream," she reminds herself.

Though, the reality of the dream exists. NERV is emotionless like Rei, but they do not understand the other pilots. They never entered an Eva unit and felt the weight of knowing millions of lives, perhaps humanity, rests on their shoulders. Instead, the closest they become is behind the glass of the control center. This Rei never piloted, but the memories from her predecessor are stark in her mind. Piloting is suffering and pain.

"You wear a bra and panties to bed," booms a voice. Rei gasps and sits up. Her A.T. field covers her, but she turns it off when she sees the speaker, Gendo Ikari. Has he visited the other Rei before? This must be important. "Why?" he asks.

Rei replies, "My predecessor wore either all or none of her clothes to bed; therefore, I wear my undergarments." It is true. Rei desires to be different from the other one who held her name and body. Even if the choice is trivial like this, it establishes some form of identity to the young girl.

They remain silent for a moment. Gendo stands at the side of her bed with his feet on top several old bandages. Shadow covers his body. The head of NERV says in the same emotionless tone that Rei uses, "I see you healed from your wounds." Not even a scar remains, so this bothers Rei. Neither humans nor the other Rei healed this quickly.

"Could you say why you came here?" asks the girl, "I know you must find it important. I come to you, but you now come to me."  
"Everything I do is for a purpose. You were… fashioned for a purpose. I'll inform you later, but I came here to tell you something about your pasts."  
"I would like to know. I remember little."

She tucks her legs back until her chin rests on her knees. Her nearly nude fetal position would arouse many men, but somehow Rei knows it makes no difference to Gendo. She doesn't care what other men would think anyway.

"You are the third," says Gendo. "Do you remember the first?"  
"I thought the previous one was first, but there's the faintest idea of another," whispers Rei.  
"Misato's mother strangled the first one to death when she was four."  
"Was she like me?"

Gendo sighs which surprises Rei. This man could be replaced by a robot, and no one would notice. Now, he shows something even if it is small.

"She was livelier than you and certainly more than the second. You should be thankful of her death. The child is why you can pilot unit 00."

Each Eva contains a soul, though NERV kept further information from the children. Rei covers her mouth with her hand, for the implications of Gendo's statement have dawned on her.

"The first Rei's… my soul was placed into unit 00?"  
"Part of it was."  
"Is this why I am different? I am missing a part of me all others have?"  
"Possibly, but there could be more reasons."  
"Then how did I pilot unit 01?"  
"That is for another time."

Gendo walks out the bedroom. He stands on the opposite side of the doorway.

"Wait," says Rei. Gendo stops.  
"Yes?" he asks. The man does not turn around to face her.  
"Why did you keep my soul alive? Why are you telling me these things?"  
"You aren't like the second Rei. She was loyal. I could tell her to do anything, and she would do it. You are not that way, and I am glad I recognized that. I am doing everything for the same reason I cloned you and came here tonight. I'm doing all for your purpose."

He walks away. Rei covers herself with a bed sheet. She closes her eyes to fall back asleep, but the girl's confused mind keeps rest from her all night.

A single thought rolls through her mind, "What is my purpose?"

<><><><><><><><><>

Shinji Ikari opens his eyes. His head throbs, but pain is nothing new to him. His stomach grumbles. "I'll make breakfast," he thinks. "No, wait. This is not my room. This is the living room. I fell asleep out here." On the other side of the couch, Asuka slumbers. Like Shinji, she is also covered by a blanket. The redhead's mouth is open. Her chest moves up and down rhythmically.

Guilt consumes the boy. The site from the hospital clouds his vision. He rolls over to face away from the Second Child. How could he have descended into such depravity?

Shinji stands. He wobbles, for he feels lightheaded. He regains control, but he bumps into the couch. Asuka wakes up.

"Ug, I can't believe I slept next to the idiot Shinji," whines the girl.  
"Sorry."  
"If you say sorry one more time, I'll send you back to the hospital." Asuka jumps to her feet and raises her fist.

Shinji widens his eyes before turning away from Asuka. Rage boils over in the redhead. She yells at him, "Look at me!"

The boy mutters, "Your wrists." He turns back to Asuka but cannot look her in the eye. He instead stares at her feet, though the brown haired boy sees the mask of anger fall from the girl's face. Asuka fumbles with both arms trying to find some natural way of covering her scars, but everything is forced. The Second Child folds her arms to hide them, but she looks like a lost little girl in the city.

They remain trapped in their current states. Neither can remove their guilty, embarrassed faces and replace it with some façade of contentment. The weight of the past few months drop on the two children, the two soldiers. Two sets of tears fall onto the floor, yet no noise pierces the pure silence. The teens look up, and each sees a pair of eyes older than most adults.

Asuka and Shinji want to run or hide, but neither finds the strength to move.

Shinji mutters, "I'll g-get breakfast." Asuka nods. She sits at the table while Shinji looks through the fridge. Neither child feels hunger; they feel empty. Still, they act as if some form of their routine exists.

Onto the table, Shinji sets down the takeout from last night. They eat sitting at opposite ends of the table covered in beer cans. Both wipe away their tears. "Everything is my fault," thinks Shinji. "If I only tried to save Asuka, none of this would've happened."

"One more ride, and everything will be better," mumbles Asuka.  
Looking down at his food, Shinji asks, "What if it isn't?"  
"I think we know the answer."

A door opens. Misato's moaning travels through the whole apartment. She must've drunk too much last night, but at least she's up. When the major enters the kitchen, she appears better suited for the beach than her own house.

Misato says to the two, "It's good to see you up so early. I got the day off, not the night, but still I'm with you today, a Saturday." She sits in a chair the wrong way so that her front leans against its back. The woman smiles at her children.

"Thank you for the food," squeaks Shinji. Asuka takes another bite.  
"You two look like shit," notes Misato. The teens freeze. With their attention on her, she continues, "I am concerned for both of you."  
"I'll be better when I pilot again," says Asuka. Shinji doesn't do anything.  
"Today, I have the sole goal of making you two feel better. Asuka, Shinji, what do you want?"  
"I want to get better. I'm weak," the girl notes. Shinji nods.  
"It's settled then. Today, we are going to take a walk outside, get some fresh air, have a change of scenery." She claps her hands. "Let's get ready!"

Shinji and Asuka drag their feet to their bedrooms. The boy changes his clothes.

"She could be my older sister," muses Shinji. "She's just fifteen years older than me, yet Misato is so mature. She lost her father at fifteen, but she's fine now. I'm a mess that only makes others' lives worse."

Little does Shinji know, but the major sits in her room waiting for the children to get ready. She clutches the cross that used to be her fathers. She thinks of how these children, except through their cloudy and painful memories, have nothing to remember their mothers by. To Shinji especially, she's the closest thing to a mother he remembers. He was too young when his mom died due to some accident with unit 01, Shinji's Evangelion.

She sighs. Misato didn't take in Shinji due to initial compassion. She felt sympathy. Here was a boy who lost his mother and has a father less loving then even Rei. The woman saw part of her own past in his life. Now, she will forever be part of his life.

Asuka… She is another matter entirely. Misato misjudged the girl. Asuka has a vicious growl and a painful bite, but it is to mask her own injuries like an injured stay dog. She needs love and care, but her ferocious fangs keep others away. The major doesn't care, not anymore. No wound will go deep enough to stop her from helping Asuka either.

Misato wipes away a few tears and puts on a smile. "Let's go!" she calls out.

<><><><><><><><><>

First lieutenant Maya Ibuki walks past the towering machine, but she cannot help herself. She stops and stares at the Evangelion. Unit 00 was the first of all the Eva, a prototype. Still, it survived Hell for far too many times. Rei self-destructed the giant, so now they rebuild it.

"Why are you still here?" says Maya. Nobody notices her words since they're too busy working on the organics or the machinery. She dare not think of the cost to rebuild the Eva from nothing but bits and pieces scraped from the ground. If there were more Angels, then this is a logical choice; however, there are no more. Thus, rebuilding unit 00 is illogical. Commander Gendo is anything but illogical.

Maya huffs and leans back against the handrail. If she fell over, she'd be the one scraped from the floor. The walkway stretches across two sections of GeoFont, but it is so tiny compared to the Evangelions.

She sees Ritsuko typing away on her notebook, though the blonde doesn't see her. Maya walks back to her station away from the scientist. She used to idolize the woman, her sensei. Ritsuko is a woman of science; this world is one of science.

The Second Impact should've caused total collapse. Most of the southern hemisphere's population was killed instantly. With the climate change and rising sea levels caused by the gaping hole that used to be Antarctica, the other nations proceeded with their only consistent action. They warred. When they stopped, the world was in a perpetual state of collapse. Over half the original population was dead.

Science saved the day. Now, Evangelions are built, a city survives through far too many Angel attacks, and humanity has a beacon of hope over a decade from the Second Impact. Maya idolized the world's savior, and she idolized the symbol of science. Ritsuko is the very embodiment of a scientist. Cool, calculating, and productive were her character traits.

She made an idol to the wrong god. Ritsuko is evil. Misato told her of what was held, what Ritsuko held, in the Dummy Plug Plant. Rei bodies were everywhere waiting to be filled like the current pilot. Was the Rei she always knew a clone? Was there ever an original? Maya may never know, for Ritsuko killed all other Reis. There was no productivity, no calculation in the act. Hell, there was no mercy either. Her idol acted out of petty jealousy.

Maya has no idol. She simply does her job trying to find what other secrets NERV hides. The work is tedious, but no one can know for her own life's sake. No, it is not simply for her life. Rei, Shinji, and Asuka need a voice besides Misato's that shows sympathy.

Units 02 and 01 wait for their pilots. Unit 00 seems to only increase in the speed of its repairs. Gendo is far too cunning to waste recourses. Maya will be ready to help the children, no matter how small the task, for something is coming.

<><><><><><><><><>

Asuka Langley staggers through the city. She feels the burn in her legs and chest, but she pushes onwards. In fact, she likes the suffering, for she deserves it.

Shinji walks besides her huffing. The boy has deteriorated to a lesser extent that the Second Child. Misato runs around the teens calling out taunts and encouraging words. Some may look on and see a personal trainer with two sheltered, wimpy children.

The girl glances at her wrists again. The scars fade into her skin, but the two light streaks are noticeable if one looks closely. "Will they stay there forever?" wonders the girl. The thought of going to class sickens her. To them, she is the Great Asuka Langley, an exotic foreigner with a beautiful body and a fiery temper. If they see her now, then she'd become the Failed Asuka, a suicidal freak who looks more dead than alive.

"We're almost home," cheers Misato, "The last one inside does the dishes!" She runs ahead faster than either could manage. Meer weeks ago, they both would've kept pace.

Asuka stays a few paces ahead of Shinji. He always does the dishes. Even though she'd force him to regardless, the girl does not want the humiliation of finishing behind the idiot. Up to the apartment and up the stairs, the two teens run and hobble. Shinji passes her at the stair's final step and has a clear shot to the door. Asuka trips the boy, so he stumbles. She enters the door before Shinji. Misato claps for them.

"You win," he says between his huffs.  
"Of course. Just be glad your bandages are off. You'd be farther behind then, so don't you dare complain."  
"I won't."  
"Misato, I'm going to watch TV. I don't feel like sweating anymore."  
"Are you sure?" asks Misato.  
"Yea," says the girl. "I'll shower later."

She leaves the two behind and plops herself on the couch. She turns on the television but doesn't change the channel, for she freezes. The girl sees the scars. "Why am I so worried about this?" thinks the redhead. "It is on my mind all of the time. Stupid Shinji caused this. He pointed it out."

She stares at the screen enjoying the anger that seethes within her. She has felt guilty, worthless, and useless for too long. Anger is a welcome emotion. She focuses on Shinji, imagining his face being smashed by her fists. He'd cower and whimper because he's a doormat.

"Hey Asuka," chimes Misato. The woman sits on the couch. "You look beautiful." Has she ever called her that word before?  
"I want to watch this show in silence."  
"It's muted."

Asuka puts some volume on the television and looks away from Misato. Some commercial rambles about its product.

"If there is anything you want to talk about, I'm here for you."  
"Leave me alone. I'm tired."  
"I am more than just a major and your guardian. I went through horrible things at your age too."

Asuka stands. Her anger has boiled over. Now, it erupts, and anything that crosses paths with the flame will burn. It happens to be Misato.

The girl shouts, "Oh, and you're such an amazing woman willing to help little me with life. You're a drunken tramp who's so horrible that you scared Kaji away!"

Asuka leaves slamming her bedroom door closed. Misato is left wondering what she did wrong and stinging from the pain. Kaji loved her, but he's dead. "Asuka lashes out when in pain, so she didn't mean it. I'm fine," thinks Misato. "Then, why am I crying?"

The woman goes to her bedroom and closes the door. What can she do better?

Shinji pokes his head out from the kitchen. Only Pen Pen is left in the main room. He groans realizing that he should enter one of the bedrooms, but he does not. The boy and the penguin sit on the couch and watch television.

Eventually Misato exits her room. They talk about trivial things like the weather and school. Nothing is mentioned that hurts, but nothing is said that heals.

Shinji knows what will happen for the rest of the day. He'll cook a dinner, Asuka will come out, the three of them will talk with a voice raised a time or two, they'll go to bed, and Shinji will listen to his SDAT player.

The boy was correct.

<><><><><><><><><>

Rei Ayanami is the third, and three is a good number. Rei is also the last, and being last is comforting. When she died, her death is final. The thought must be worrisome to others, but they never had the experience of coming back to life.

Now, Rei rides a train full of people. Like blood traveling through the body, the train takes people to vital places like work or school. Rei boarded the train for school. The rhythmic sound of the train is like a beating heart.

Men in suits and suitcases have faces that range from tired to detached. A few children grumble. "Are they wishing for a longer weekend?" Rei ponders. A small jolt makes someone stumble, so Rei glances in that direction.

Asuka stands over a fallen Shinji. She looks cross. Yes, even Rei can see that emotion so clearly displayed. Shinji stands, but neither has noticed her yet. Spying three seats open across from her, Rei moves onto the rightmost of the trio. She waits for them to walk by.

"Wondegirl?" Asuka gripes. "Shinji, let's go." Shinji instead sits next to Rei. "What are you doing?" The redhead stomps her foot, but when neither Eva pilot reacts, Asuka groans. She sits next to Shinji.

The boy stammers, "S-Sorry Asuka, but I thought we could t-talk."  
"Talk about what? How much we kiss Gendo's ass?"

Asuka acts hostile. Why? Perhaps today is a bad day for her, but going to school for the first time in weeks may be the variable causing the situation. Rei decides to start a conversation to gain more information.

The blue haired girl mutters, "I am not Gendo's doll, Asuka. I used to be, but she died. How often must I repeat before you understand death?" The two other children strain to hear her words over the train's noise. Neither replies.

Shinji tries to sink into his chair. His shoulders slouch and his head looks down. "Is he embarrassed about being pressed against two girls or is he afraid of a fight?" thinks Rei, "Both seems the most likely."

Asuka fidgets with her hands. She tucks them at her sides elbowing Shinji in the process. The boy grunts; however, Rei notices two pale lines on the redhead's wrist. Such a thing embarrasses, and Asuka's massive ego increases the effect.

Deciding not to mention the scars, Rei says, "I wish to stay with both of you today."  
"What?" they exclaim in unison.  
"Other students may wish to harm us. Asuka's presence is helpful."

Is this a lie? Yes, Rei is lying. She has no fear from hostile students, but she wishes to be with the one who hated her and the one who loved her. Asuka also needs her… acquaintances, if Shinji and Rei qualify, around her. She seems unpredictable at the moment. Does this make her manipulative? Asuka incorrectly called the other Rei manipulative, though her sketchy memories could be wrong.

"I don't want your sour face around me," declares Asuka. Shinji says nothing.  
"Your wrists were cut in an accident when piloting unit 02. I was there and caused the accident," Rei says.  
Asuka nods. "You can stay," she says. Shinji smiles.

Rei closes her red eyes. The blue haired girl does not open them until the train stops at the school. The three Eva pilots step out together. Asuka has a smile on her face, a fake one, yet it is still a smile. Shinji looks around for anyone with a club. His shoulders are still slouched. Rei drifts behind the two humans like a shadow.

Some students call out shallow greetings to Asuka. Others stare at the three. A few ignore them altogether. Nonetheless, the three teens with three backpacks walk though the school and into their classroom. While Asuka acts happy and haughty, Rei sees the sweat on her hands.

"Where's Hikari?" asks Asuka.  
One of the students replies, "Oh, she's sick. I have the duties today."

Rei notices the disappointment on the Second Child's face. Hikari is the only person who is Asuka's friend. Shinji might be, but Hikari is the only one who sees something beyond the redhead's mask and breaks through. Maybe Rei can break through as well.

"Rise! Bow!" barks the temporary replacement. The professor enters the room, so the class sits. The man never teaches anything useful which is unfortunate for her classmates. It robs them of an education.

"The Third Impact…" begins the professor.

Rei ignores the man. Why has he not been fired or replaced? Maybe NERV wishes to hinder their intelligence. An ignorant child is a passive child, and Gendo likes passive children. Rei stares at the professor and reflects, "You work for NERV, don't you?"

<><><><><><><><><>

Shinji Ikari shifts his gaze from Asuka to Rei to the professor and back to Asuka. The redhead has calmed at last, though she'd never admit she was nervous in the first place. "Why couldn't Hikari be healthy?" he thinks, "Asuka needs a friend today."

Shinji looks at Rei again. How did she have that idea? It not only worked but used deception. Rei resides in her own bubble, a lonely one, yet she understood Asuka's situation and handled it flawlessly. This Rei is not Rei. She's different despite the similarities.

The boy sighs. He can't do anything but think in class. "I'll have to wait until lunch," thinks Shinji. "Then, we could talk if Asuka doesn't kill Rei." The redhead might. If anybody told him that Rei and Asuka walked together to class, he'd laugh. Fire does not mix with water, yet here they are. "Please let this be the new normal instead of an exception."

Asuka looks healthier than a few days ago. Her skin is not as pale. The rings under her eyes are not as pronounced. She proudly wears her interface headset. She acts normal, a snoot. To the rest of the class, she recovered from some accident that happened a few weeks prior; however, Shinji knows the healing is only skin deep. Asuka is bothered by herself and believes that the only road to healing involves unit 02, the very contraption that caused all of this.

For the rest of the morning's class, Shinji tries to learn what little is taught. Why even teach about the Third Impact? It won't happen, for all of the Angels… and Kaworu are dead. Shinji's stomach churns when the bell rings.

The students leave their room and sit on benches. One could mistake their dining area as a school picnic. Sometimes, students ate out here a day after an Angel attack. The city was in shambles, but schoolgirls and schoolboys open their lunchboxes to have a picnic. All the students go along as some act of defiance against the evil world.

The three pilots walk together in a swarm of happier children who never had to fight against apocalyptic demons. Asuka leads the way while Shinji and Rei follow. They sit at a bench some distance from the mass of students. Asuka and Shinji take out their bento boxes, prepared by the boy. The clone does not, for she has none.

The other children keep their distance from the Eva pilots as if they're gods or wild beasts, saviors of the world or assholes who ruined it. There's very little in between in the simple minds of middle school students.

Rei, Asuka, and Shinji are neither monster nor god. They are children just like the rest yet separated by their occupation of suffering. Who empathizes with soldiers but soldiers? Who understands a teen but a teen? Who comforts those in pain and suffering but those in pain and suffering? Other than the three, no one fits those standards. Even then, Asuka is too aggressive, Shinji is too spineless, and Rei is too withdrawn for any real relationship.

The pilots eat in silence until Shinji pushes his bento to Rei. He says, "Here, I'm not hungry." Rei shakes her head, but Shinji smiles and nods. She takes the meal.

"You ate only the meat," the First Child notes, "You only ate that because I don't eat meat." She takes a bite of rice.  
"Why are you vegetarian?" asks Asuka. "Meat is amazing. Did NERV tell you to be a herbivore?"  
"No, my predecessor didn't, so I don't. Rei had many physical problems, some neither of you know about. I don't wish to risk my health."

Asuka finishes her meal and scratches her wrist. Shinji's stomach grumbles. "I hope nobody heard that," he thinks.

"I'm going to see Hikari after class," says Asuka. "Don't you two get any ideas when I'm gone."  
"Ideas for what?" asks Rei.

Asuka laughs, but Shinji cannot tell if it's forced or genuine. Instead of insulting them, she shrugs saying, "Well, unless the pervert tries anything you'll be fine." She punches his arm. It is neither playful nor hurtful. The blow seems more of a reminder that Asuka exists.

The bell rings.

Rei looks down at her finished bento box. She mutters, "Um, thank you for the food."  
"Sure," says Shinji. Was this the first time Rei, the current one, thanked him?

The three teens walk to their class. Each has more bounce in their step. Shinji thinks, "I hope Asuka won't hate Rei anymore."

The boy sits in his seat. The square, bland room has never change nor will it ever change. The professor will never change, but perhaps the three Eva pilots can.

"Rise! Bow!" says the replacement for today.

Shinji sighs. Some things won't change.

<><><><><><><><><>

The robot changes. Its final barrier between the virus and the inner workings of the machine has failed. The silent virus chipped away at its security for days like a worm burying through one's skin. None of the maintenance workers noticed the virus. Why would they need to check? Jet Alone Prime has the most advanced cybernetic defense of any known contraption. SEELE is unknown.

The virus takes control and reorganizes the warrior's directives. A specific pattern of destruction and mayhem are ingrained. The Angels' objective was to unite with Lilith's tattered body to cause the Third Impact. Jet Alone Prime's objective is now just as simple. Cause mass casualties. Destroy Evangelion unit 02 and 00. Damage unit 01. Level Tokyo-3.

While it could break from its subterranean confinement, a supposedly secret construction facility under the original Tokyo, it waits. Traffic is highest in an hour. More casualties occur when more people are on the streets.

The Jet Alone Prime plans for all possible outcomes. It ensures each leads to the same objective.

<><><><><><><><><>

Asuka Langley runs to Hikari's apartment. The train was so damn slow. Her legs hurt but not like Saturday. Her friend's apartment rests on ground level, so Asuka doesn't have to climb any stairs. She stops in front of the door. For a moment, the redhead focuses on breathing until she appears calm.

Asuka knocks on the door.

"Come in!" calls out Hikari. "It's unlocked." Japanese culture is so dumb. No one would do this in Germany.

Asuka enters. She sees no one, so the girl walks through. The apartment is in pristine condition. It sparkles like some commercial for a magic cleaning rag. She sees Hikari sitting on the back porch. The class president reclines in a chair with a face paler than Rei's.

Asuka boasts, "I'm alive." Hikari tries to sit up, but she clutches her stomach. A smile breaks through her painful grimace. Asuka sits beside her friend and teases, "I thought I'd be the sick one."

"I ate something wrong this morning. I would've come anyway if I knew you were there. Ugh." She clutches her stomach again. "I'd rather be bleeding than this. I'm sorry about what happened to Shinji and Rei. I won't let it happen again."  
"I don't care." Asuka crosses her arms.  
"No, you do."

The redhead sighs. Their friendship is odd. Such a strong girl befriending such an ass doesn't make sense, but Asuka held a small amount of respect to Hikari for her position and commanding personality. Hikari saw through Asuka's guise and made it her mission to befriend the pilot.

"Fine, I helped fix the problem," huffs the redhead.  
"Please tell me you didn't fight someone."  
"No, I don't feel that well yet… We stuck together all day."  
"You were with Rei?"

"I have a right to be with whoever I want."  
"Yea, it's great, but you don't like her."

Asuka never liked Rei, but her idea was interesting. With such an effective way to hide her weakness from the class, she couldn't pass the opportunity. Maybe this Rei is different. Hopefully, the pervert Shinji will keep his hands off of her.

"She changed, maybe."  
"Shinji hasn't."  
"No, he's the same fool."  
"How hurt were you?"  
"Excuse me?"  
"You were in the hospital for weeks."  
"I'm better now."

No, the wounds stay in her mind. Like her scars, they won't go away.

"Thanks for stopping by. I think my sisters are avoiding me. I kept on telling them it's not a disease, but they wouldn't listen."  
"Sure."  
"How's Pen Pen doing? I gave him back when you were, um, away."  
"Fine."

Hikari holds Asuka's hand. She tries to pull away, but the girl's grip is tight. What is she trying to do?

"Are you going to leave for home?" asks Hikari. Her gaze is solemn.

"I don't have a home, not really. I want to pilot my Eva one more time, so I'm staying for that. After that, I'm not sure. Kaji is gone, and Misato may become my next guardian." The girl makes a gacking noise. "I don't want to live a boring life with that woman and a human doormat."  
"A boring life? Isn't everything boring when compared to the Angles and Eva?"  
"Yea, but Misato thinks something's wrong."  
"Why?"  
"They're rebuilding unit 00."

Hikari doesn't reply, for she understands. NERV sees dark days on the horizon. A phone rings. Asuka takes her cell phone out.

"It's Misato," she comments to her friend. The pilot answers the call. "Yea, am I la-."  
"Asuka! Where are you?" yells the major. What is the emergency?  
"I'm with Hikari."  
"Stay there. I'm getting Shinji and Rei now. Someone will get you."  
"What are you talking about?"  
"A Jet Alone is rampaging to Tokyo-3. You'll get your chance to pilot now."

A car horn blares from the other side of the call. The major ends the call, and Asuka drops the phone.

"What is it? Misato sounded worried," says Hikari. She is scared.  
"Shit hit the fan. Do you even remember Jet Alone?"  
"Sort of."  
"One's coming here, and it's crazy. Misato told me I'll get to pilot."  
"You don't look happy."

Asuka realizes her friend is right. The Second Child is not happy. She is scared, not physically ready. Her ratio will be too low.

"I don't want to fail."  
"You are the Great Asuka Langley. You'll win."

The two friends smile at each other. Though they were away from one another for nearly a month, their friendship did not dwindle. Their friendship isn't skin deep.

Someone knocks on the door. "Asuka Langley," says a gruff man's voice. That was fast.  
"Yes?" she calls back. The girl stands and runs through the apartment. She opens the door and sees a NERV agent.  
"I am g-"  
"I know. Let's go."

She runs to his car and sits in the front passenger seat. Not wanting to take a risk now, she buckles. The man sits in the driver seat and pushes the gas down. The car zips through the streets while Asuka's heart races.

An alarm blares out its warning. People haven't been to the shelters since the Angels. Why upkeep what doesn't need to be used? Nonetheless, the masses rush to the nearest shelter while Asuka speeds to the great danger. She doesn't bother asking any questions, for goons like this one don't know anything. The man knows Asuka needs to arrive at GeoFont. That's it.

"Why did Misato bother taking Shinji and Rei?" Asuka wonders. "Unit 00 has not been rebuilt yet. I don't think I'm mistaken. Perhaps she's afraid that the fool will chicken out. Yes, I wouldn't put it past him. The boy is only good for cooking. Maybe they think Rei can sync with unit 01 in that case… but, what if she can't? With Shinji being a coward and Rei being unable to do anything, that leaves only me."

She breathes deeply and thinks, "Asuka, this is your purpose. Don't fail now. This is just a robot, not an Angel. You will have an A.T. field, and it won't. Even with a pathetic sync ratio, you could kill the machine. Get inside unit 02. Walk to Jet Alone. Kill Jet Alone. Be a hero. Yes, that seems like a great ending."

She smiles. It doesn't matter that she's more worthless than Shinji and less likeable than Rei. Asuka still has her Eva, thus she can still save the day with this easy exercise. Yes, this is an exercise. Fighting with Shinji over a remote is harder than this, and Asuka always takes the remote. "Rei, Shinji," thinks Asuka, "be prepared to see the Great Asuka Langley pilot her Eva one last time. Be amazed at my skills. Forever, people will remember my last act as an Eva pilot where I save Tokyo-3!"

Alas, if Asuka knew the demon that lies before her, she'd be terrified

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the interest you all have shown so far. Hopefully this is apparent, but I am trying to have the three pilots develop in a way that makes sense. If you have any qualms or questions, then I'll be glad to answer them in some manner (unless it's a spoiler). Feel free to criticize me as well, for it is very helpful.
> 
> Oh, if you think anybody is acting oddly unpredictable, illogical, or out of character, let me know. I'll either give my reasoning or amend my error.
> 
> I love feedback!


	3. Scared

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's notes: Well, fight scenes are one of my most blatant weakness as a writer. Hopefully, the Jet Alone Prime battle wasn't too bad. Also, Asuka is a surprisingly difficult character to write. If you notice anything that's really out of character for her, let me know.
> 
> To address the questions I received, this alternate timeline started and diverted at End of Evangelion's hospital scene, for Rei III disobeyed an order and visited the hospital.  
> As for Asuka's knowledge on Jet Alone, I assumed the failure would've been common knowledge by that point. If it wasn't then I'd imagine that Asuka would've found out some time either from Shinji, Misato, or just reading through Shinji's previous missions. Then, Asuka would've told Hikari for... um, some reason.
> 
> Anyway, thanks for reading.

Earlier that day…

Two teens stroll down the street. To anyone else, they'd see a boyfriend and girlfriend or a brother and sister heading home. Shinji and Rei are silent. The sun bakes down upon their bodies as cicadas blare. Shinji grins.

Rei is content. Asuka might not hate her, and Shinji…

"Shinji, we are friends," she states. Her voice no longer mumbles, but it is still soft.  
"Yea, we are."  
"What do friends do?"

Rei stops walking. Shinji halts as well and rubs the back of his head. He appears to be thinking.

"Friends… I don't know. I'm not good at it. I went camping with Kensuke. Asuka and I hurt each other and fight. I crippled Toji." The boys face changes to a grimace. "I killed Kaworu."  
"He said we are alike. What does that mean?"  
"Don't say that."

Shinji walks again. Rei does a mixture between walking and jogging to catch up to the boy. How could her words hurt Shinji? Why is Kaworu painful to remember?

"Shinji, tell me about Kaworu," she asserts. Her apartment is within sight.  
"He was a friend of mine, a replacement for Asuka when she was in the hospital. We bonded. He showed me love for who… who I am instead of what I do, how I look, or how I act."  
"I wish to love you like Kaworu," declares the girl. She opens her door.

Shinji fights back the tears, but he loses. The boy cries. He shows great pain and casts his gaze downward. Rei takes the child by the hand and pulls him inside. She closes the door behind them. The room is dark.

Shinji rests his head on her shoulder and weeps. Rei doesn't know what to do, but one of her arms wraps around his back while the other cradles the back of the boy's head. The girl feels his emotion, his grief.

She whispers, "It's alright." The child sobs. They stand together. Shinji wraps his arms around Rei and hugs her.

"I… I…" he stammers. "I killed Kaworu." He still sobs. No longer is Shinji a young man, for he is a small boy in desperate need of his mother.

"I know," says Rei. Her voice is soft.  
"I protect with my Eva, but I killed!" His loud voice hurts her ear, but Rei does not care. She hugs Shinji. "I don't know what I'd do if I hurt you, Rei."  
"Shinji, did you hear of the hedgehog's dilemma?"  
"What?"

They let go of their embrace though Rei won't let go of Shinji's hands. They sit on her hard couch. In the darkness, Rei makes out Shinji's tears trickling down his face.

"A family of hedgehogs freezes during a cold night. They try to huddle close to stay warm, but they prick each other by accident. The hedgehogs back away, trying to find the right balance between warmth and pain. Do you know what happened?"  
"Rei, I heard of this before. They find the right distance, close enough for warmth but far enough away to not be poked."  
"The cold shows no mercy. All the hedgehogs die."  
"No…"  
"Except two. They broke past the pain. Those hedgehogs were bloody by morning, but they survived. Shinji, you will hurt those closest to you, but you and the other will die if you stay far away."

Silence fills the room. The teens say nothing. Instead, they lean towards each other and hug. Shinji cries out of sadness and pain but also joy.

"I'm not letting go of you," cries Shinji.  
"Neither am I," declares Rei. A single tear falls from her eye.

All of their pain, confusion, and suffering lie bare for the other to see. Instead of fear, revulsion, or judgment, they show love. Shinji loves; Rei loves.

<><><><><><><><><>

Shinji Ikari feels love like never before. This emotionless doll gives love and comfort. The boy doesn't care what others believe, for Rei is human. For now, they are at peace, and nothing else matters.

His phone rings, but Shinji doesn't check the call. Rei's phone rings, yet she doesn't answer it either. When Shinji's phone goes off again, Rei says, "Something's wrong." The two teens end their embrace.

Shinji answers the phone. "Um, Misato?" he asks. Rei leans close to Shinji to hear Misato's words.  
"God damn it, Shinji! Where are you?" screams the major.  
"Um, I'm at Rei's."  
"Stay there. I'm coming. Be ready. I'll call Asuka, then explain more." Misato hangs up the phone.  
"We should wait outside," notes Rei. Shinji nods while fear grips his heart once again. They open the door and squint, for the sun shines bright. "Shinji?" asks Rei.  
"Yes?"  
"I felt emotion," she states. Piercing through the fear, Shinji beams out of happiness.

The phone rings again. Shinji answers.

"A Jet Alone is coming to Tokyo-3," Misato reveals. Shinji hears her car's engine roar. "Shinji, you will pilot unit 01."  
"What? No."  
"Shinji! People will die. Jet Alone is a robot. If not, I'll send Rei in your unit. Asuka's going either way if she can pilot. Stay where you are. I'm almost there."

She hangs up. The boy feels a warm hand on his shoulder, so he looks at Rei. She's fragile. Her pale skin makes the girl seem deathly ill, her red eyes are other worldly, and her frame is small.

"I will pilot unit 01 for you," she declares. Guilt swells inside Shinji. How could he let Rei go into harm's way? How could he stand back and watch Asuka be hurt again?  
"No," the teen answers. "Someone has to face Jet Alone. I've hurt too many friends to let you go." He puts each hand on her shoulder. "Rei, I know I'll hurt you if we stay friends."  
"I don't mind."  
"Then let me protect you."

Shinji smiles. The girl stares at her friend for a minute, but time no longer has any bearing on the pair. Then, Rei smiles.

They cringe at the screeching of car tires. Misato pulls up next to them in her car. "Get in," she orders. Shinji and Rei jump into the back. The car speeds away.

"I'll pilot," asserts Shinji.  
"Good. You remember Jet Alone?" says the woman over the engine.  
"Yea, it almost went nuclear. I thought it was discontinued."  
"It wasn't. There's a new version. We haven't detected an A.T. field, but it has a giant club."  
"That's good. What about the military?"  
"Ground forces aren't close by, and aerial doesn't seem to do much. The thing's fast. It'll be here soon."

Alarms give their warnings to the people, so the masses flee to the shelters. Shinji hopes they will be safe… He'll be the one protecting them.

"That's all I know," says Misato. The pilots don't talk to the driver, for her driving is bad enough when she isn't distracted.

They arrive at GeoFont. The three rush past security and into the changing rooms. Misato leaves them behind heading for the command center. The major is their head tactician after all; however, she says, "You'll be fine" as she leaves.

Without moving to another room, Rei takes off her clothes, all of them, to put on her plugsuit. Shinji looks away, but changes as well. Despite the embarrassment, he cannot let her arrive first. He cannot chance her piloting unit 01. It's a rash decision.

"Ah! I say don't get any ideas, but you're both nude!" screams Asuka. She apparently arrived.

Shinji trips almost ripping the plugsuit. He pulls it over his waist. Rei doesn't seem to care and puts the rest of the suit on. It fits her form like a glove.

"Asuka, it's not-" says Shinji. The redheads face is red with anger.  
"I'll never get this sight from my eyes!" she yells.  
"Asuka," says Rei. "It is good you arrived. Shinji will be safer with you."

Her voice does not show emotion, none of the emotion he saw from her minutes ago. Rei walks away. Shinji puts on the rest of his suit and runs out the door. He calls out to her, "I didn't peek."

Shinji doesn't stop running until he reaches Eva unit 01. It's a purple and green humanoid. Ferocious teeth are connected to its pointed head. It towers above all humans like a god, but this god is alive. Unit 01 has a personality of sorts with a tendency to go berserk. It's powered by an S2 core consumed from an Angel, so it won't run out of power. The creature is alien and familiar, organic and machine. Inside, Shinji killed too many Angels and caused too much suffering. Now, he steps inside to kill a machine and to prevent suffering.

The Third Child enters the plug and sits in the chair. He breathes the LCL fluid and runs his hands over the controls. "Crap," he thinks. "Why must I pilot?" The boy puts on his interface headset.

The holographic face of Misato appears before Shinji. She states, "I know you haven't been in for weeks, but we need you to sync." Shinji nods.

"Start unit 01," he says to the Eva. Neurons connect. Man and beast become the same. The Evangelion enters him, hugs him like Rei. He feels the outside world using the alien unit. The Evangelion is Shinji, and Shinji is the Evangelion.

"Sync ratio is at sixty percent. Not bad," comments Misato. "You'll get your orders when I see Asuka's… Oh there it is. Good enough. Shinji, you'll be Asuka's backup."  
"What is her sync ratio?" asks the boy. Worry pours through his words.

"Just under twenty percent."  
"What!"  
"She'll use the positron rifle. We think Jet Alone has no long range capabilities. You're her backup if it doesn't work."

Shinji says nothing. He thinks of Asuka, how he failed her. The Third Child made her this way, and he could let her down again. No, success is the only option. Shinji will protect Asuka with his life.

<><><><><><><><><>

Maya Ibuki watches the vital signs. She sits on her pink cat pillow, for the lieutenant is too short otherwise. There are two sets of information, Shinji and Asuka's. When they die, Maya will be the first to know. She shivers. What a horrible thought.

Kozo Fuyutsuki reminds the staff, "Do not loose unit 01." The others nod, but Maya acts as though she's too preoccupied with monitoring. Unit 02 holds the same importance, for both units contain children. Why did the calculating world of science turn to children as their messiahs?

Asuka's heartbeat races, so Maya presses a button. She says, "Try to relax, just a little."

"I'm too damn weak to pilot!" grumbles the redhead.  
"Asuka," says Misato, "You are fully capable in doing this. Walk, aim, fire. Done. Don't lose to yourself."

Commander Gendo stands behind everyone. His presence dominates the atmosphere. Maya respects the commander for keeping his cool, though he is not a man of science. He is a man of war. Still, the commander makes… made the right decisions. "Why did he clone Rei?" she thinks. "How cruel."

Maya glances beside her. There, Rei sits still like a statue. With a plugsuit on and sitting on her legs, a passerby might assume their first pilot is indifferent to the situation; however, the lieutenant senses that the girl does care. "I think they'll be fine, Rei," she whispers.

Without turning her head, the girl replies, "Thank you." Her voice and complexion are emotionless as always, but Maya thinks there's more. There's no documentable or scientific proof, but the lieutenant senses the girl's humanity. Clone or not, Rei is human, so she has human feelings.

Through their video feed, the battle nears. The robot, just designated Jet Alone Prime for some reason, walks through the water while units 01 and 02 scramble to block its path. The machine remained undetected until a boat happened to see it pass by under the water. Like Godzilla from those old movies, Jet Alone Prime travels beneath the waves. Even after it was spotted, it ran through the sea. The monster's direction is clear, Tokyo-3.

Misato asks, "Ritsuko, what can you tell us?"  
"Not much," replies Maya's former mentor, "There's no radiation, so it's probably powered by an N2 reactor. The fact that it stays by the water means it might need a coolant. For combat capabilities, I'm not sure beyond the obvious. The club could do damage, though I believe the A.T. field should be more than enough. The rifle is almost certainly sufficient."

Misato sighs, "Thanks… Asuka, Shinji, do you hear me?"  
"Yes," they both reply. Asuka sounds more annoyed than fearful. Shinji's tone sounds sullen; however, Maya has no room to complain. If she were a pilot, this woman would cry like a baby.  
"Orders remain. Shinji, stay by Asuka's side. At the junction point, we set up the necessary equipment. You should have…" Misato pauses speaking to the children and asks the staff, "How much time?"  
"A minute," says Ritsuko.  
"You should have a minute to set up and fire before Jet Alone Prime reaches you."

Maya focuses her attention on her monitors. She has one job, one important job. Asuka's sync level has risen one percent from its initial amount. Maybe she's finally getting better after so much suffering.

<><><><><><><><><>

Asuka Langley struggles. Just getting her Eva to move burdens her. She has to carry a rifle, run, and maintain her balance. Shooting the robot will be easy. Shinji runs beside her, though the girl knows that he could run faster if he wanted. Nonetheless, having a low sync level means she doesn't feel as much from her unit. If she could feel more, it'd be sore muscles, pain.

"There it is!" Shinji exclaims. His stupid holographic face displays itself. The boy takes the rifle and plugs it in while Asuka peers over the horizon. Far in the distance, Jet Alone Prime is like a tiny dot of mold growing on a piece of bread.

Angels look frightening and abstract, but this monster looks… dopey. Its legs are too long and head too small. The body's short and wide. Its arms are skinny like Rei's. There's some sort of tubing coming out of its head, but it almost looks like dreadlocks. It'd be embarrassing to be killed by such a stupid creation.

Asuka lies down for the most stable position. Shinji puts the positron rifle under her arms. She aims.

Misato says, "Asuka, we expect you'll get only one shot. Japan will not be able to turn on its power before Jet Alone Prime reaches you. Take your time."

The girl says nothing. She hears the gun calibrating itself which she finds impressive. Steadying her breathing, Asuka waits for the machine to come closer. Her arms, the Eva's, wobble slightly. She tries to clear her mind, but the guilt, insecurity, and fear remain. "Just pull the trigger," she thinks. Her finger squeezes.

"Asuka!" Shinji screams. He jumps in front of her as she fires barely missing the idiot. She doesn't see if it's a hit, for a loud crunch fills her ears. Through the blood, she sees Japan cast into darkness.

"Robots don't bleed," she thinks. Asuka and Eva unit 02 glimpse where Shinji lies. Unit 01 gushes blood, it's left side is ripped open, and a club sits next to her friend.

"Shinji!" she shrieks. "Is he alive? Tell me!"  
"Asuka," says Maya, "Weak vitals. Worry later. Fight Jet Alone Prime."

But, she shot the robot, so how couldn't it be destroyed? Asuka turns around. The robotic demon rushes at her with only its left arm. She has seconds to react.

Unit 02 dives at the machine. It smacks her down and crushes its foot onto her back. "Arg!" she grunts. Like a drunk, her movements don't line up with her thoughts. Armor on her back snaps as she pushes off the assaulter. The demon stumbles back and lands on Shinji.

"Shit!" Asuka pulls Jet Alone Prime off unit 01 and rips out some of its wiring like a girl opening a birthday present. Damn that machine for crushing Shinji! Her voice never ceases its bellow, a war cry. The robot clenches her neck and squeezes. Asuka gasps trying to pull a nonexistent hand from her fleshly body.

Her fingers scratch at Jet Alone Prime's face. "Claw out its eyes, Asuka!" she thinks, but her fingers slide over the smooth surface.

"Asuka!" orders Misato. "Use your Progressive Knife."

Asuka takes the knife in her left hand and stabs at the assaulter as they tumble to the ground. He lands on top forcing her down. He's raping her! Ariel raped her mind. He's raping her! Asuka screams in fear and thrashes her knife at the machine. She tears away chunks of metal, but it squeezes the life out of her Eva. It… he forces himself on her.

"Stop!" she shrieks. His grip is tight. His fingers pierce her neck.

"Help!"she begs. His body presses down against hers.

"No," she whimpers. Her thrashing slows. Her vision clouds and darkens. Asuka is useless. She failed. Nothing will change that. Then, all is white.

<><><><><><><><><>

Rei Ayanami watches unit 02 fire at Jet Alone Prime, but the robot hurls its hammer at Asuka. Unit 01 jumps between Asuka and the club, so Shinji takes the brunt of the blow. "No," utters Misato. Their light flicker, but their backup generators kick on. Shinji's Eva lies on the ground mauled and bleeding. Jet Alone Prime is gone, fallen beneath the waves. The brunt of the impact must've broken through Shinji's A.T. shield.

A fearful voice pierces the silence. "Shinji!" Asuka shouts. "Is he alive? Tell me!"

Behind Asuka, Jet Alone Prime rises from the water. The right side misses an arm, but the robot still functions. It charges at Asuka.

"Asuka," reveals Maya, "Weak vitals. Worry later. Fight Jet Alone Prime."  
"You have vitals?" asks Misato.  
"No, I lost signal," reveals the lieutenant. She cries.  
"Dispatch two recovery teams," the major orders.

All in the Command Center observe the battle before them using the military's helicopters. The two mechas meet, but the robot slams the Eva to the ground. It stomps on her back. "Arg," calls Asuka through the intercom. She pushes the machine off. When it falls on top of Shinji, the girl curses.

Asuka yells like an ancient German warrior. Jet Alone Prime strangles unit 02, but the Eva flails trying to damage the machine.

"Asuka!" orders Misato. "Use your Progressive Knife."  
"Her vitals are falling!" Maya reveals.

Unit 02 tumbles to the ground. The robot doesn't let go of her neck.

"Stop!" shouts Asuka. Her knife tears through the robots armor. "Help!" she begs.  
Ritsuko notes, "Jet Alone Prime is overheating. The core will meltdown.  
"No," whimpers Asuka. Her voice sounds weak. She struggles less.  
"She's dying," Maya says. "I don't know why."

Rei cannot look away from the screen. How can she be so helpless? Shinji and Asuka die, yet all Rei can do is watch. She is useless. There's no way to end their suffering or ease their pain.

A bright light envelopes their visual feed before it goes offline. Rei covers her mouth.

"I lost both signals," says Maya.  
"Prepare for emergency care," says Misato. She's crying, but her voice is firm. "Ritsuko, did Jet Alone Prime meltdown?"  
"Yes," says the scientist, "It no longer poses a threat."

Rei stands and walks out of the Command Center. She will meet Asuka and Shinji at the hospital. NERV is oddly silent during her journey, and full power comes back when she reaches the medical ward.

The sanitized smell overwhelms the girl. It used to be lovely, but now she hates the unnatural, lifeless stench. It symbolizes their warfare. They shouldn't be fighting, and they shouldn't be dying. Still, Rei and the other pilots cannot escape, for they instead come back to the hospital broken and bleeding.

The blue haired girl sits by the front desk. She doesn't move. The electric lights buzz overhead while footsteps echo in the halls. She will follow her friends wherever they'll be taken.

She hears running. Wheels squeak. A bed pushes through a door with doctors around it and Shinji in the bed. Rei sees an I.V. and a pack of blood inserted into each arm. Shinji is covered with so much blood. The girl follows the doctors until they enter an operating room. She sits outside. "Where's Asuka?" she wonders.

"Life is suffering," says Gendo. His voice is impassive. Rei turns her head and sees the man standing beside her. How did he get there? "When people live, they suffer. Soon, the ones you love will be taken from you. It's only a matter of time."  
"Will Shinji be alright? Where's Asuka?"  
"Everyone deals with loss differently. Dreamers hope of a day where there is no more loss or suffering, but those fiends will always follow us. They'll follow you until humanity is no longer human."

He walks away. Rei doesn't know what to think. She becomes a true statue neither thinking nor moving. All the girl wants is a sound. Even if it's only Shinji's scream, she needs to know he lives.

"Rei," says Misato. Her voice is soft and reassuring. Dry, salty streaks run down the woman's checks. "Asuka can take visitors."  
"What about Shinji?"  
"Blood loss mostly. He'll live."

Rei nods and follows the major. They wind through the halls and down a floor. The woman and child enter a room together. Asuka lies in a bed. The left side of her face shows a massive bruise, and her left arm is bandaged at the shoulder. The room is grey. Only the dying rays of the sunset enter from the window.

"That stupid Shinji," moans Asuka.  
"Hey, you won," says Misato.  
"Really?" She doesn't sound convinced.  
"You caused meltdown."  
"Oh… can you leave for a moment? I'd like to talk with Wondergirl, alone."

She major shows surprise, but she leaves. The heart monitor beeps constantly.

"Do you keep secrets?" she asks. Rei nods. She can. "I thought I was being raped."  
"Why?" Rei sits at the foot of the bed.  
"Last time I piloted, Ariel violated me, my mind. It felt too close to that, and I… Did I lose my mind?"  
"Asuka, you are strong."  
"I wish."  
"Why are you telling me this?"  
"Weren't you violated? They ripped your soul from your dead body. Then, they dumped it in this one." She points at Rei. "When you awoke, you were different. NERV forces themselves on you all the time."  
"Are you on painkillers?"  
"Yes."

The girl nods. That explains a few things. Rei takes hold of Asuka's right hand, and the redhead doesn't protest.

Misato comes back inside.

<><><><><><><><><>

Shinji Ikari opens his eyes. His head throbs, and his visions blurs. He moans. Didn't he die? No, he lived. The boy sees a girl sitting next to him.

"Mama?" he asks. "Oh, Rei." The blue haired girl nods. She points over Shinji, so he turns. Asuka is asleep in the bed next to his. He smiles. "How long was I out?" he asks.

"Eight hours. No casualties, but the world is angry."  
"Why?"  
"We already know the Jet Alone project was secretly funded by China and Russia. Japan isn't happy, but you're both heroes again."  
"She's fine, right?"  
"Yes."

Shinji looks at Rei. From the window, a beam of moonlight illuminates her body. She wears her school outfit. Is she child or adult? Her reaction to the world is like a lost little girl. She hides within her own walls, yet she's beyond her years. Her caring nature… yes, she cares… is that of an older sister.

"Have you waited here the whole time?" Shinji asks.  
"Yes," she replies.

The teens enjoy the other's presence. Words don't have to be spoken. Despite their flaws, Rei and Shinji understand their pain. Isolation, fear, and helplessness live inside their souls. Knowing that someone empathizes with their plight welcomes healing.

Shinji holds out his hand. Rei grasps it. The boy doesn't have to see his friend smiling to know her feelings inside. She's happy.

Slowly, Shinji drifts into a peaceful sleep. Rei leaves.

When the boy wakes up, he notices Rei is gone. Sun shines through the window. Asuka is dressed and stands next to Misato. The major tells him, "We can go home now." Shinji nods. Misato tosses his clothes on the bed. "Well, be outside," she says.

Shinji changes while groaning the entire time. His torso is wrapped like a mummy. If he bends the wrong direction, a stab travels up his side. Still, he dresses himself.

The boy steps out the door where Misato hugs him. "I'm so sorry for sending both of you in harm's way again," the woman confesses. "You were both amazing out there."  
"Why?" huffs Asuka.

The sanitized stench isn't potent when compared to the girl's seething aggravation. She won't look either in the eyes, and the Second Child clenches her fists.

Misato notes, "Asuka, you destroyed Jet Alone Prime and saved Shinji. Yes, the reactor went into meltdown, but no one was killed. It's N2 as well, so no radiation is around."  
"Fuck off," says Asuka.

She runs away from Shinji and Misato leaving both confused. The boy looks to the woman for guidance.

"She'll come to the car," she states, "The hospital won't let her out without me, but let's be nice."  
"Is she okay?"  
"I think you should find out."

The child and guardian walk down the halls together. Shinji takes a deep breath of air, clean air. The sun warms his skin, and so does his spirits. In comparison to the white and disinfected hospital, this is heaven.

Shinji sees Asuka sitting in the front passenger seat. She pouts with her arms crossed. "Why is Asuka always like this?" he wonders.

They drive home in silence, but Shinji's mind is loud. Why does Asuka act grumpy? Wouldn't she be happier to be less aggressive? Why can't she be nicer? Then, they could get along. Rei is so much easier to be around.

He thinks to the time they kissed. She guilted him into the act by mentioning his dead mother… how heartless. The girl despises him, especially over the last month. They were compatible when they met, but now Asuka is going crazy. Shinji hasn't changed, so it must be her. Yes, it is her fault for feeling bad.

The car pulls up to the apartment. Misato says, "I'll get some good food. You two deserve a great meal, not my cooking. Shinji, don't you dare cook tonight."

The children step out of the car before it pulls away. They glare at each other for a moment before walking up the stairs. They reach the door, and Asuka enters first. She slams the door in Shinji's face causing him to stumble back. He regains his footing and enters the house.

Shinji hears another door slam. This time, it's to Asuka's bedroom. Shinji travels through the house, but stops in front of her entrance.

"Asuka?" he asks.  
"Leave me alone, fool!" she spits.  
"Did it not work?"  
"What are you talking about?"  
"You wanted to feel better, and you thought piloting your Eva would fix you. We won. Asuka, you killed the enemy and protected me. Why don't you feel better?"  
"I don't need you. Go consol with your doll Rei." Why is she so angry?

Shinji breathes in deeply. Perhaps he still feels empowered after being in his Eva. Maybe some of his painkillers cloud his judgment. Conceivably, the boy is finally fed up with Asuka.

Either way, he opens her door.

<><><><><><><><><>

Kozo Fuyutsuki watches Gendo manipulate the politicians like an artist painting a tapestry. Dozens of faces stare from the video monitor all called to their feeds by the apparent savior of Japan. Time is their greatest resource when public opinion, that fickle number, favors NERV like a politician favors bribes.

"…which is why NERV needs more funding," continues Gendo Ikari.  
"What do we, my own country specifically, receive in return?" asks the Japanese ambassador to the UN.

Technically, NERV is controlled by the UN, but not one man here actually believes that lie. NERV is led by one man, and that one man answers to no one despite what SEELE may think.

"Do you remember those history lessons about the Huns?" Gendo doesn't pause for a response. "Using the horse and bow, they conquered nearly the entirety of Asia and could've taken Europe. Do you remember the British Empire?" The UK ambassador looks uncomfortable. "They conquered a fourth of all humans using trade, ships, and money. All of us remember what the United States used to be."

The American ambassador is not bothered, though Fuyutsuki isn't surprised. After the Second Impact, the nation went back to its pre world power status. Slashing their military and ending almost all diplomatic ties, the United States is hardly felt anyway beyond commerce, the Americas, and the UN. The United States of America was the last traditional world power, and everyone knows it. NERV is the newest superpower.

Gendo continues, "They took the world using ideals and more importantly atomic power. I am NERV, and NERV has the newest form of world domination, Evangelions. This is not good. Let's transition NERV into a real UN organization."

It takes a small miracle to make a politician show their surprise, but dozens of faces have a dumbfounded look on their face. Kozo Fuyutsuki tries not to smile.

"I wish to rely on your troops and recourses to carry out a simple plan, to save humanity when it needs saving." The man finishes and stares at the leeches. SEELE may control the UN like a puppet master, but these puppets are greedy. To them, the situation is too good to be true.

The French ambassador states, "Let us discuss this for a moment. We will speak shortly."

Gendo and Fuyutsuki step away from the camera. The old man smiles while the commander remains stoic.

The aged professor comments, "We got them."  
"Yes, it didn't take much for Ritsuko to find SEELE's virus. They took the offensive, but now we do as well. Except for Lilith and our old records, there is nothing to hide here. Stepping into the light will make us loved and more importantly desired. SEELE has no way to touch us without fighting everyone else."  
"But they will."  
"Yes, but they haven't finished the eleventh or twelfth yet."  
"Oh, the tenth is complete?"  
"Now, we have an army with us instead of against us. Red tape does not bother me, not after we killed the angels. Besides, Rei will take time."  
"Then, we win," says Fuyutsuki.

Still, he cannot help but fear and marvel at the man before him. Gendo is a man set apart from the rest, and fate set some purpose upon him.

The two men hear a ping. The ambassadors are ready.

"Yui," thinks the old man. "Don't worry. He and SEELE can still be stopped."

<><><><><><><><><>

"I said get out. God damn you!" shouts Asuka Langley. The boy walks in like a puppy wanting to be beaten. Asuka smothers her face in a pillow.

"Asuka, you are not alright," he says. How can he be so dense? Of course she's hurting! She screamed out for help during the battle. She thought a one armed robot was trying to rape her. Is she crazy?

"Leave me!" she orders. "Or I'll kill you." When she piloted unit 02, it was supposed to fix her. At least it could've provided some rest. No, Asuka feels worse. She's a horrible pilot. Shinji could've died and she almost perished because the great Asuka Langley no longer has the ability to control an Eva.

The girl thinks, "Run, Shinji. Run. It's what you always do. You don't care enough to understand, and I don't need you. I'll stand on my own as I always have and always will."  
"Then get it over with," says Shinji. "I'm tired listening to you whine."

Rage. Asuka is blinded by rage. He thinks she's whining? Of all the dumb, insensitive, ignorant things to say! How could he?

She stands on her bed and points at the boy. "I hate you, Shinji!" she shrieks. "I hate you! I hate you!" She repeats the words like some ungodly chant.

"Asu-" says Shinji in a quiet voice. He shakes his head and screams, "Asuka, I saved your life. You never saw the club coming. Why didn't I let you die?"

The girl snarls. She jumps of the bed and onto Shinji. They wrestle, grunt, and cry out on the floor. Asuka wraps her hands around Shinji's neck. He needs to suffer how she did with Jet Alone Prime.

No, this is wrong. She rolls off Shinji. They gasp for breath. Asuka laughs; Shinji laughs.

"We tried to kill each other," chuckles Asuka.  
"Sorry. Do you feel better now?"  
"Yea, a little."  
"You know why I won't let you die?"  
"Why?"

Asuka rolls on her side to face Shinji. The boy has already positioned himself in the same way. He's covered in sweat.

"I think it's the same reason you saved me. Deep down inside, I don't think we dislike each other."  
"No, I saved you to prove I'm better."  
"I used to tell myself that I piloted for Gendo's approval."  
"But you don't? Tell me what it is."  
"I pilot even though it destroys my life and the lives of everyone who I care about, but I can't let any more suffer. Not anymore. Not after seeing Rei… die, and you… well, you know…"

Asuka stands. She walks out of her room facing away from Shinji, for she cannot let him see her pained expression. "I'm going to take a shower now that I'm sweaty. Don't peek." She closes the door and turns on the water. Soon, all the hot water will be gone.

Shinji rubs his neck. Did she just run away from him again? She laughed. What does that mean? "I sense she was glad I stayed here," thinks the boy, "but I don't know."

Asuka shivers. The water shoots out fully cold. Warm water is a bad idea since she needs to cool herself down. She tried to kill Shinji after he saved her. Yes, she saved him too, but that's not the point.

She is the human incarnation of fire, all consuming. Others cannot touch her, for she lashes out and scorches them. Take away her base, being her piloting abilities, and she burns out. For the Second Child's entire life, she reaches out with her flames only being useful when directed at an Angel. This is why she fails. A wild fire destroys. It cannot refine or warm a weary soul. It's uncaring with what it consumes.

Rei… she is water. No, Rei is an ocean. Cold, dark, and mysterious, the blue haired girl mummers through life like water trickling through a stream. People see her surface, still waters, but they cannot enter her abyss or else drown. Water and fire cannot mix, so fire and water hate each other… Yet, Rei changed. She does care now if only a little. If Wondergirl evolves, why can't Asuka?

If Rei is an ocean and Asuka is a fire, what is Shinji? Dirt? That might work. He just lies on the ground and lets others walk all over him. Dirt kills a fire and disintegrates in an ocean. No, dirt doesn't encompass all of Shinji.

Maybe, he's a stick. Yes, a tiny little stick. "I bet he's tiny," Asuka muses. He broke off from his roots now aimlessly being tossed about in the big scary world. He floats on the water and bobs under the surface. After he dries from Rei, he acts as kindling for Asuka to keep her alight.

"No," thinks the girl, "I don't need him." She turns off the shower and dries herself off. Normally, the girl would walk through the house only wearing the towel, but now it seems… weak. It was weakness. "I did it for Shinji's attention," she thinks. "Then, I'd push him away. No more. If he does care for me, then I don't need to show myself off like Misato."

Asuka puts on her undergarments and sweaty clothes. She opens the door and strides into her bedroom. Shinji stares at her with his mouth agape, though the girl pretends not to notice. She enters her room, closes the door, and changes. Then, the redhead enters the living room and sits in the middle of the sofa. Shinji is on the far right.

"Um, how was the shower?" he asked.  
"Are you making small talk?"

Confusion engulfs the boy. He doesn't know how to respond, so he blurts, "Yea, sorry."

"Third Child," Asuka mentions, "We'd get along if you weren't so damn awkward."  
"I wish I wasn't, but it's who I am." The boy looks disgraced.  
"Rei changed. Maybe we can too. It'd be better," she sighs.

"On the battlefield, we fought for each other's lives," Shinji notes. "I didn't even debate my decision. I jump in front of you automatically."  
"I didn't hesitate either."  
"Maybe, we could, um, treat the world like the battlefield."  
"Shinji, this is a battlefield."

They sit in silence until Misato arrives with the food. The major wonders what they did after she left, for they are content, almost happy.


End file.
